Young boys are being ‘bombarded’ with misogynistic content and I’m terrified for my kids

A new study from Dublin City University’s Anti-Bullying Centre has given many parents, myself included, a sharp wake up call. The study found that “masculinist, anti-feminist and other extremist content,” was shown to accounts of boys between the ages of 16 and 18, within minutes, irrespective of whether these accounts looked for “male supremacist-related content” or not.

Much of this content rails against equality and promotes the submission of women. There was also a large amount of content devoted to male motivation, money-making and mental health. This material strategically taps into boys’ financial and emotional insecurities and is particularly dangerous in relation to mental health as it frequently claims that depression is a sign of weakness and that therapy is ineffective.

I write alot about the challenges women face in the world, but when I think of my 2 and 4-year-old boys, one whose favourite colour is pink and the other who told me this morning I was ‘boootiful’, regularly seeing content like this, it makes me feel so desperately worried for the challenges our young men will face. And for what will become of my two boys when their teenage minds enter into this frankly terrifying world.

Counteracting these toxic messages means more than just monitoring screen time and setting parental controls (both of which I plan on doing). It means engaging in open, honest dialogues with my kids about respect, and about the intrinsic value of all people regardless of gender.

I am purposefully raising my boys to be able to recognise, name and feel their feelings. I am teaching them that it’s ok to cry sometimes, in fact sometimes it is much needed. I am educating them on the importance of consent, I never force them to kiss or hug anyone if they don’t want to. I am allowing them to explore and enjoy their bodies, and I am making sure they are naming body parts correctly (including the penis and the vulva, shock, horror!).

In our house boys can be princesses and girls can be king. Boys can like pink and girls can like blue. Mummies can work and Daddies can stay at home.Their worlds are full of examples of men and women who break traditional moulds. Girls can marry girls or become boys or just be ‘they’ and live anyway that feels right and good to them. This seems like a completely obvious and natural way for me to parent.

The DCU study is a really stark reminder of the challenges that lie ahead for parents and kids alike, and of the world that exists outside of our little bubble. We have to push to keep phones out of primary schools, and for more stringent regulations on social media platforms, and ultimately to make sure that they are environments of positive growth, not breeding grounds for bullsh*t ideologies.

But most importantly we have to instil a generation with kindness, acceptance, emotional openness and compassion and hope that that will challenge the algorithm and all that comes with it. A generation that will be as boootiful in spirit as they are in promise.