Hello, my name is Niamh and I am a classic overthinker

January has been full of information on just how we all need to think more positive thoughts, tame our anxiety, manage our mental health and focus on our mindset. In truth, this happens every year but there’s no denying that it has felt heightened this year.

When I think about my thinking habits, I don’t necessarily see them as either positive or negative, I find my greatest challenge is stopping myself from simply allowing too many of them in. Overthinking is my personal scourge. 

My ability (I refuse to see it as a weakness!) is that I can go from zero to one hundred in an instant. I think of something, I visualise it in my mind and before I know it I’ve played it out fully in mind and inevitably find myself stressing with the fallout from the inevitable worst-case scenario. If there are other people involved in this picture, the chances are that I’ve also added their contributions to the conversation. I become a join the dotter of professional proportions.

In order for us to stop our overthinking ways, we must first acknowledge why we do it, so that we can go on to try and prevent it from recurring. When we start to become more aware of our tendency to overthink things and are willing to accept that it’s actually causing us more harm than good, then we can prepare ourselves for change.

• You spend time worrying about things you simply have no control over.
• You read into the hidden meaning of things people say to you.
• You relive awkward moments and replay your mistakes in your head over and over.
• You’ve trouble sleeping, you feel like your brain just won’t switch off
• You replay the conversations you‘ve had in your mind and think about all the things you wished you had or hadn’t said.
• You make decisions from a place where you feel others won’t or can’t judge you?
• You decide what the outcome will look, you see it in your mind and you feel as you might feel if it actually happened.

• Identify what you do by recording it in your journal. By doing this you will recognise it and what triggers it when it happens the next time.
• When you’re feeling calmer and more in control of your feelings gather the evidence you know to be factually true. What do you know to be true that contradicts your thoughts?
• Ask for help. Sharing with someone close and trustworthy that you have a tendency to do this can be a great way to lightening the load. When it recurs you can speak with them and simply say I’m doing it again – can you remind me why I need to release these thoughts? The best way to gain fresh perspective is to talk with someone else and put the problem outside of you.
• Remove yourself from where you are in that moment when your mind is working overtime. Get out for a walk, go make a coffee, light a candle, turn on some music – something that will get you into a different headspace; even just for a few short minutes. If you’re in bed overthinking, get up walk around – anything that will just shift your focus. Journaling when you’re overthinking can be a really good outlet as it will prove to be helpful when observing your future habits.
• Habits are stubborn, and in many cases, people have behaved the same way for years, perhaps decades so the changes won’t appear overnight. Our minds are clever because we are clever- don’t forget that!