Life coach and retreat facilitator Carmel Wynne shares her journey to writing and the insights to be found in the reality that exists beyond the honeymoon period.
Get Real offers a refreshingly honest approach to nurturing lasting partnerships. Drawing from over two decades of experience as a life coach and retreat facilitator, Carmel Wynne provides insightful strategies for couples navigating the complexities of modern relationships. With a focus on authentic communication and emotional intelligence, Wynne guides readers through practical exercises designed to strengthen bonds and reignite intimacy.
What inspired you to start writing?
I had no ambition to write before I was asked to submit four three-minute scripts to Nightlight, a programme RTÉ television broadcast before the stations finished down for the night. A chance meeting at a party led to the invitation. I submitted two pieces with a note saying that I would not be offended if they were not up to standard. A contract to record the pieces came back with the reply. Her faith in me that I could write and be published gave me the confidence to make writing into a paid hobby.
Tell us about your new book. Where did the idea come from?
The idea was germinating for 20 years. I had a bad fall and damaged my knee before the monthly magazine I wrote an opinion piece for closed down. Another magazine invited me to write for them. I had a choice to make. Aware that my mobility problem was ongoing and that I would be sitting around for the coming months I decide to write what became a self-help book.
What do you hope this book instils in the reader?
I want readers to find the answer to the question ‘Who are you?’ The answer is not their name or what they do for a living. I believe they will learn how much of the stress they experience in daily life is unconsciously self-induced. Say you feel frustrated. Pause and ask, ’What did I want that I’m not getting?’ Readers who answer the question will quickly learn how easy it is to identify the specific situations or people who trigger their stress responses.
What did you learn when writing this book?
I learned how complex effective communication is. For example, I love my daughters, I love travel and I love walking. One word is inadequate to describe such different experiences. It was challenging to find the language to communicate unambiguous information which would allow readers to view life experience from a fresh perspective. To hear someone say I never thought about it like that before is music to my ears.
Tell us about your writing process?
Once I finished writing about how quickly the honeymoon period is over the writing took on a life of its own. I didn’t set out with a process in mind. I wished to bring the reader on a coaching journey; to offer information that might possibly challenge beliefs; to ask for honest answers to hard questions. My wish was to offer readers the tools to identify the obstacles that keep them stuck, afraid to step out of their comfort zone or to take action to change situations they found unacceptable.
Where do you draw inspiration from?
I draw inspiration from life, from people, from daily meditation and spiritual beliefs. My definition of spirituality is never to be upset by any person, place, event or thing. Religion is meant to lead to spirituality. Sadly, it frequently doesn’t.
What are your top three favourite books of all time, and why?
This is too difficult a question to answer. I read a number of books every week. I have new favourites all the time.
Who are some of your favourite authors, Irish or otherwise?
I’ll mention a few. Lucinda Reilly, Anthony de Mello SJ, John O’Donoghue, Steve Andreas, Ann Cleeves, J.K. Rowling, Iyanla Van Zant.
What book made you want to become a writer?
There was no one book that influenced me to become a writer.
What’s one book you would add to the school curriculum?
Tony Buzan’s book HOW To Mind Map.
What’s your favourite bookshop in Ireland?
Chapters in Parnell Street, Dublin.
What’s some advice you’ve got for other aspiring writers?
I can’t advise but I have questions. Before I write anything I ask, What is the take-away for the reader? Readers are guided by the WIIFM – What Is In It For Me. Before you approach editors and publishers be clear, how will your piece sell? Never take a rejection personally. The determination to be published made J.K. Rowling a billionaire.
Lastly, what do the acts of reading and writing mean to you?
Reading and writing are almost as important for me as breathing. I would still write, even if I were never to be published.
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