We need to talk about Trilogy’s €15.95 Everything Balm

By Holly O'Neill
13th Nov 2019

We need to talk about Trilogy’s €15.95 Everything Balm

It might not look like you would find magic inside this tiny tin, but you would be surprised.

We’re in that bleak part of pre-Christmas, where’s it too early to be overly excited but early enough to be slightly panicked about buying presents, affording everything and finishing off work.

I should buy that great dress now, before it sells out and I’m left with nothing to wear for the Christmas night out but actually what I should be spending my money on is Hatchimals and Iggle Piggles and Minecraft things for my eleven nieces and nephews and cousins and friends’ babies. Who’s house are we doing Christmas in? Which one of my aunties do I need to buy a present for, even though we’re doing Kris Kindle again this year, so I don’t get embarrassed when they blatantly ignore the Kris Kindle rules and buy everyone a present anyway? Is it worth the slagging from my brother-in-law to buy those white leather boots to wear on Christmas Day? Will we have enough chairs for the dinner? Have I bought enough Superquinn sausages for Stephen’s Day? Should I put the lights on the outside of the house this year, even though it’ll probably be April before I’m arsed to take them down again? How the hell am I going to afford to live until the end of the year?

Anyway, somewhere inbetween these anxieties, the four hours of daylight and the bitter cold and sleety rain that destroys the fluffiness of your new Teddy coat, you’ll get a cold and then a chesty cough. If you’re me, you’ll buy your body weight in vitamins, chicken soup and Pukka teas (I’m addicted to Lemon, Ginger and Manuka Honey, or Turmeric Gold) and dress like Justin Bieber for a week, in a hoodie and baggy trousers.

While you’re bundled up and waiting it out, your skin will dry out and your nose will start to feel like sandpaper and look like Tiger Roll bread. I was at this stage of a cold when Trilogy’s Everything’s Balmy Duo landed on my desk.

For whatever reason, there’s very little more satisfying than cracking open a new lip balm. First, I applied it on my lips, thinking it was just a standard lip balm. The next hour, I rubbed it into my cracked, dry nose. The following hour, I applied it on my newly laminated and slightly dry eyebrows. For the last few days, I’ve used it as a cuticle oil, I’ve applied it on a dry patch on my arm and I’ve applied it to dry heels and flyaway hairs. My sore, dry nose looked normal again in 24 hours, thanks to rosehip, marula and manuka honey in the balm.

Sure, everything is bit miserable at the moment, but now that you’ve gotten through the cold, it’s officially Christmas and in mere moments, you’ll be having Christmas sandwiches for lunch and planning a night of cocktails in a sequin dress. Until then, slather and smear a layer of Trilogy’s Everything Balm over your life and be patient: holidays are coming.