6 things to consider before you reconnect with a first love

While it will answer the “what if…” question once and for all, you need to think long and hard about reaching out to a former love, especially if you’re currently in a relationship.

1 Be clear why you’re doing it. Do you still have romantic feelings for them or do you simply want to rekindle the friendship?

2 Are you prepared for them to be a different person to the one that you remember?

3 Can you accept the fact that you can’t “mend” the past, no matter how much you might want to?

4 Will you cope if you feel a rush of old emotions for them that you weren’t expecting, which might not be reciprocated?

5 Even if you’re currently in a happy and secure relationship, reaching out to an ex – or them to you – can, unwittingly, rock the boat, if you confuse the memories of former feelings for that person with your feelings in the here and now.

6 Relationship counsellor Eithne Bacuzzi says, “As a relationship counsellor, I would sound a word of warning around revisiting old flames, especially through social media. Both parties need to have clear and precise boundaries from the start, as often, each has a different expectation of what the reconnection will lead to, which then becomes an issue.”

Photography by Unsplash.

An extended version of this article originally appeared in the Volume 1 (January/February) 2020 issue of IMAGE Magazine.