Claire Moulds reflects on why our first love still has a powerful hold on us years, even decades, down the line. Here's what you should consider if your first love is on your mind.
While it will answer the “what if…” question once and for all, you need to think long and hard about reaching out to a former love, especially if you’re currently in a relationship.
1 Be clear why you’re doing it. Do you still have romantic feelings for them or do you simply want to rekindle the friendship?
2 Are you prepared for them to be a different person to the one that you remember?
3 Can you accept the fact that you can’t “mend” the past, no matter how much you might want to?
4 Will you cope if you feel a rush of old emotions for them that you weren’t expecting, which might not be reciprocated?
5 Even if you’re currently in a happy and secure relationship, reaching out to an ex – or them to you – can, unwittingly, rock the boat, if you confuse the memories of former feelings for that person with your feelings in the here and now.
6 Relationship counsellor Eithne Bacuzzi says, “As a relationship counsellor, I would sound a word of warning around revisiting old flames, especially through social media. Both parties need to have clear and precise boundaries from the start, as often each has a different expectation of what the reconnection will lead to, which then becomes an issue.”
Photography by Unsplash.
An extended version of this article originally appeared in the Volume 1 (January/February) 2020 issue of IMAGE Magazine.