(Dis)Content creators: A passage from Killian Sundermann’s ‘CountryFail’
Read an extract from Irish comedian Killian Sundermann’s newly released title, CountryFail: Some C***’s Guide to the Countryside.
The newly released title CountryFail is the hilarious guide to the countryside you never knew you needed, from TikTok and Instagram-hit comedian and hilarious co-host of the Young Hot Guys podcast Killian Sundermann.
Welcome to the countryside. A place of rolling hills, winding rivers and natural beauty. Or is it? Killian Sundermann is here to give us his deeply uninformed, highly opinionated and hilarious guide to the countryside. He rates stone walls, weighs up the varying appeal of different styles of hedges, gives us a bitchy guide to ditches and explains why hiking is for people with emotional problems. You’ll never see the countryside in the same way again.
Read on for the extract below…
For me to make my big comeback, I need content to let the world know of my rebirth as a prophet of rural life. Like Jesus, but obviously less problematic.
We reach a particularly picturesque spot beside a lake. An excited look creeps across my face. ‘Just look at this view, it’s perfect.’ I take off my backpack and pull out a tripod, which I set up just by the edge of the lake. Fixing my cameraphone on to the tripod, I turn to you:
‘Can you help with this? It won’t take a moment, then we can keep going.’
‘What’s going on here?’ you say, confused.
‘Content creation, obviously. You now know that I am the leading voice on all things countryside, but the rest of the world doesn’t know that yet. For me to make my big comeback, I need content to let the world know of my rebirth as a prophet of rural life. Like Jesus, but obviously less problematic.’ I walk in front of the camera. ‘Come on, you work the camera.’
Content shot:
Standing beside the lake with eyes closed, wind blowing hair, then eyes open with shock.
‘OK,’ I say, ‘caption that one “when you’re meditating in nature and you suddenly realise the entire day has gone by”.’ ‘But you weren’t meditating,’ you say, confused. ‘Yes, I know that, but I could have been.
I’ve done it before,’ I explain. ‘Really? Have you?’
‘Well, no,’ I reply shortly. ‘But as I said, I could if
I wanted to. Please. I need this.’
Content captured:
Killian chops wood topless while slapping the wood more times than necessary beforehand.
Killian sits cross-legged by the side of the lake and meditates. Caption reads, ‘Most people my age are out partying and living pointless lives while I’m literally beside a lake meditating trying to find inner peace lol follow for more #innerpeace #follow4more.’
Killian does yoga on the edge of the lake.
Caption: ‘I actually can’t vinyasa flow properly any more unless I’m beside a lake but that’s just me I guess lol #follow4more #innerpeace.’
Killian sits beside lake with laptop, caption reads,
‘Nice “office” for the day crying laughing smiley emoji.’
Killian looks around with wonder and accidentally bumps into a tree, then laughs.
Caption: ‘When you’re so taken in by the beauty surrounding you that you accidentally bump into a tree loooool follow for more funny content #follow4more #innerpeace #funnynaturevideos.’
Killian walking beside the lake. Caption: ‘POV: You’re walking beside the lake.’
You frown. ‘But, Killian, if you’re creating fake poses, chasing likes and not actually living by the laws of the countryside, what is the point of all of this?’ I’m not sure I appreciate your tone, so I decide it’s time to introduce you to the ways of the locals, to put you in your place.
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