Kylie Minogue and Calvin Harris to headline Electric Picnic 2024
Kylie Minogue and Calvin Harris to headline Electric Picnic 2024

Sarah Finnan

The IFTA winning shows to add to your watch list
The IFTA winning shows to add to your watch list

Sarah Finnan

‘There is such unrest in the world now, I think it’s important to start helping where we can’
‘There is such unrest in the world now, I think it’s important to start helping...

IMAGE

A family mediator breaks down the financial jeopardy of divorce
A family mediator breaks down the financial jeopardy of divorce

Michelle Browne

This sprawling Foxrock home is on the market for €6.75 million
This sprawling Foxrock home is on the market for €6.75 million

Sarah Finnan

This Sandymount home is full of rich colour and clever storage solutions
This Sandymount home is full of rich colour and clever storage solutions

Megan Burns

9 great events happening around Ireland this weekend
9 great events happening around Ireland this weekend

Sarah Gill

Strategies to tackle workplace energy slumps
Strategies to tackle workplace energy slumps

Victoria Stokes

Why don’t women see themselves as leaders, even when they are?
Why don’t women see themselves as leaders, even when they are?

IMAGE

Social Pictures: The 39th Cúirt International Festival of Literature launch
Social Pictures: The 39th Cúirt International Festival of Literature launch

IMAGE

Image / Editorial

What Would Sex with Sherlock Be Like?


By Jeanne Sutton
02nd Nov 2014
What Would Sex with Sherlock Be Like?

benedict cumberbatch wearing feminist t shirt

By the end of this you will be blushing?

Benedict Cumberbatch is on quite the press tour these days as his latest movie, The Imitation Game hits cinemas. First he couldn’t pronounce ?penguin? on Graham Norton.

Then he walked ?like? Beyonc? in that same studio.

However, we think his interview with Elle UK, in which he speculates on what Sherlock would be like in bed, might send Cumberbitches the world over into coronary thrombosis.

The interviewer speculated upon Sherlock’s bedroom skills and Benedict jumps to the slightly sociopathic detective’s defence with the type of descriptions that belong in mild erotica. Speaking as Sherlock, we think, he says, ?I would probably take a lot of vitamin supplements to make sure that I could perform, and had had my sleep, and probably not had many cigarettes. Or drink, for that matter. Not that he does drink.? Vitamin supplements.

sherlock

Elle calls this “Proficient, but lacking enthusiasm.? But Benny bites back with, ?Yeah, no wait for it. I would probably watch a lot of porn… And then I would be?devastating. I’d know?exactly how to please a woman, I’d know exactly where to put my fingers, where to put my tongue, where to put my – his I should say – his fingers, his tongue. Think about violinists, think about what they can do with their fingers.?And I’d know exactly how to get that person into it, and get pleasure out of making that person feel pleasure to the point that I probably wouldn’t even have to enter??

Oh my. Between this and his endorsement of feminism in the same magazine – see above for the actor wearing the Whistles and Fawcett Society, a?women’s rights organisation, colloboration – we think we might take a cold shower now.

Follow Jeanne Sutton on Twitter @jeannedesutun