Anti-Valentine’s Day Cards For Hilarious People

It’s almost time for Consumer-Driven And Cliche Interpretation Of Love Day!

Valentine’s Day and love go together like a night out on New Year’s Eve and fun, but I’m on board for any day that you get to eat chocolate. I’m here for Christmas advent calendars all year round, and I don’t need a consumerism festival as an excuse to buy a box of Lindor, because I buy them for myself on the regular.

However, like Christmas, Valentine’s Day is just another in the calendar where the sentiment behind the celebration has been bastardized for commercial gain. Yet you must take part in the festival of consumerism, so here are some cards to buy your significant other in an anti-establishment way, or if you are a hilarious person.

I Still Like You When I’m Not Drunk Card, €4.19

In a world of app-centric dating, does it get more romantic than a card that says I Still Like You When I’m Not Drunk?

Roses Are Red Card, £2.29

For the romantics.

Tinder Card, €4.40

For the millenials.

You Bring Darkness And Financial Burden To My Life, €3.33

For the long termers.

Most People Are Married By Your Age, €3.62

Your mother will probably get you this card.

Thanks For Tolerating My TV Shows, €4.33

“Yeah, yeah, I know you hate Girls.”

It’s Complicated Card, €3.45

For the sapiosexuals.

You’re My Favourite Husband, €4.33

Bonus – you could also buy this for your best friend.

Have Fun Watching Netflix With Your Cat, €4.81

You should definitely buy this one for your best friend.

Enjoy the half price chocolate everyone!