Always craving more sleep? These 5 signs mean you’re not getting enough
Always craving more sleep? These 5 signs mean you’re not getting enough

Jennifer McShane

‘Confusing’: Scooter Braun speaks out over Taylor Swift ‘feud’
‘Confusing’: Scooter Braun speaks out over Taylor Swift ‘feud’

Jennifer McShane

These are our favourite outdoor furniture brands for every budget
These are our favourite outdoor furniture brands for every budget

Amanda Kavanagh

This home in Kinsale harbour is on the market for €2.25 million
This home in Kinsale harbour is on the market for €2.25 million

Megan Burns

50 years on and we’re still talking about Coco Chanel
50 years on and we’re still talking about Coco Chanel

Rose Mary Roche

Take a look inside – and shop – Cara Delevingne’s LA home
Take a look inside – and shop – Cara Delevingne’s LA home

Holly O'Neill

Details announced for Ireland’s first big outdoor music festival since March 2020
Details announced for Ireland’s first big outdoor music festival since March 2020

Sarah Finnan

Hairstylist Jacqui Fay on going grey in her thirties
Hairstylist Jacqui Fay on going grey in her thirties

IMAGE

Sha’Carri Richardson is the Olympic hopeful you’re about to see a lot more of
Sha’Carri Richardson is the Olympic hopeful you’re about to see a lot more of

Sarah Finnan

The best basket bags to take you into summer
The best basket bags to take you into summer

Holly O'Neill

Image / Editorial

New Mother Blues: 5 Truths I Needed To Hear After I Became A Mother


by Sophie White
08th Sep 2017
blank

After my first baby was born I did not react well. Being a new mother,  Sophie White was seriously sleep-deprived and struggling says So


About two weeks in – when I had banked cumulatively about 13 hours of sleep total in that entire time – I wrote myself a hysterical letter warning my future self to never get pregnant again, such was my terror of ever finding myself with a newborn again. I sealed it in an envelope and wrote across the front: To Be Opened In The Event Of Wanting Another Baby. I stashed it in a drawer and resumed the frantic one woman show I was engaged in that I now call the I’m Fine Absolutely NOTHING Is Wrong Whatsoever (Just Don’t Hug Me Or I Will Cry And May Never Stop) Show. Suffice it to say, I was not handling the transition well.

I now look back on my new mother self and wish I could reassure her of a few things (and gently suggest that she relax and stop googling “what age sleep through the night?”). So here’re the things I wish I could tell that wild-eyed, crazy, weepy person:

Stop doing stuff – seriously just stop. Don’t put that wash on. Don’t start doing the dishes. Don’t do anything beyond eat biscuits. Eating biscuits is the only output of energy that is allowed until the baby is at least 12 weeks old at which time you may consider getting dressed. Maybe.

Eat as much as you can as often as you can – Believe me, I am not a person who ever needs to be reminded to eat but in the hazy, crazy, mixed up, tired, terror-fog of newbornhood, day becomes night and night becomes day and even I would forget to eat. I’d be about to dissolve into hopeless tears over something fairly minor when The Man would gently query whether it was really that big a deal that the couple on Room To Improve had vetoed Diarmuid’s suggested interior courtyard? Perhaps, he’d tentatively venture, my disproportionately emotional response was more due to the fact that I had only eaten biscuits that day.

Feel perfectly free to ATTACK the next person who asks you if the infant is a ‘good baby’. This question is bullsh*t and needs to be eradicated from the language. The next person who asks the ‘good baby’ question can expect a verbal b*ll*cking along the lines of “no he’s not a good baby, it’s an EVIL baby – I bred him to avenge my enemies and I will set him on you next”.

Forget sleep when the baby sleeps – like what are you going to do? Sleep in 18 months time? Because that is pretty much when that baby is going to sleep. Unless you have gotten extremely lucky and birthed one of those fabled ‘sleeping babies’. In which case Go You but be cool and don’t go broadcasting it because believe me the second, the very INSTANT that you tell someone that you have a good sleeper the baby Gods will hear you and they will punish you for your hubris.

Don’t pretend you’re fine if you’re not – really don’t. I pretended I was fine for nearly a year and it was exhausting, not to mention unnecessary. Tell someone, tell someone, tell someone. They won’t confiscate your baby, they will help you.


Main image by Dakota Corbin on Unsplash

Also Read

Taylor Swift
EDITORIAL
I was not a fan of Taylor Swift. Then I watched her documentary

The documentary Miss Americana has shown a different side to Taylor Swift, writes Edaein O’ Connell I was never able...

By Edaein OConnell

blank
EDITORIAL
There is something uncomfortable about Kate Garraway sharing her husband’s desperate Covid texts

We are used to celebrities oversharing their lives. But sharing someone else’s as they fight for their life might be...

By Amanda Cassidy

blank
AGENDA, EDITORIAL
Andrew McGinley: ‘I know that they wouldn’t want me to be sad.’

Following the utterly devastating trial of his wife Deirdre last week, Andrew McGinley spoke afterward of the love of his...

By Jennifer McShane

blank
EDITORIAL
Nutritionist Daniel Davey’s harissa squash with giant couscous

This is a perfect lunch recipe, and the harissa does an incredible job of bringing the squash and chicken to...

By Meg Walker

blank
EDITORIAL
What to eat this weekend: Fish n’ courgette chips with homemade tartar sauce

This healthy fish and courgette chips recipe from Jane Kennedy is the perfect weekend supper. The humble courgette is transformed...

By Meg Walker

Has society become more tolerant of the idea of dating interracially?
premium IMAGE WRITES, REAL-LIFE STORIES, RELATIONSHIPS
Interracial dating: “People kept asking ‘where is she from?'”

With diversity on the rise, what struggles do interracial couples continue to face today? Filomena Kaguako speaks to three couples about their experiences.

By Filomena Kaguako

blank
BREAKING STORIES
Supermodel Naomi Campbell becomes a mum at 50

The first-time mum shared the news on social media today.   Supermodel Naomi Campbell has announced that she has become a mother....

By Jennifer McShane