Owning your female power and energy is all about letting yourself ‘flow’. That ‘flow’ might be found through the motion of your body by dancing or walking, or you might find it by creating or simply by just being. For me, it’s about taking the self-care routine I dabble in, to the next level. But for you, it could be anything.
There are differences between power and female power. We all have that instinct and force to be able to do something above and beyond when needed, that’s power. You get power from everything; eating, drinking, thinking, speaking. But, female power is a lot more specific. It’s a learned force that sometimes takes years to identify and sometimes people never unlock it at all.
Propelled by female support
It was September 2018 and I moved to New York City. I had just stopped crying from being desperately homesick, hanging up the phone from my mum, feeling guilty for letting her hear me so upset in the fear I would infect her with my sorrow. If you’ve ever lived far away from home you’ll understand this heartache. But this heartache also helped me grow. Your female power can manifest in so many ways. Some people have it and feel it from a young age and sometimes it takes a big change in your life to discover it. Something dawned on me that day. I was in control of me. I had the power to help and soothe myself through this.
I’m saying ‘through this’ like I was sent away with no choice. I had chosen to move away, to discover and scare myself. I wanted to experience something different and new. I was in my apartment in Williamsburg and had spent a morning job hunting. This was to be the pattern for nine more weeks. Waking up in a blazing Brooklyn heat, meeting the friends that I moved over with, in our living room, opening up our laptops and huffing and puffing, filled with frustration.
Those weeks changed something in me for the better. I think as a woman, being on your own for the first time in your life is a powerful thing. To really get to know yourself inside and out is something that stands to you for the rest of your life. My entire life in New York City was propelled by female support. I had a mix of very strong female friends and I’m still surrounded by a bunch of very modern go-getters to this day. Throughout those weeks, it was the nurturing and supportive energy that helped me find my femme power. The phone calls to friends who would just listen and soothe, and hanging out with friends in New York that were going through the same thing where our energies just bounced off each other. It was the times when the strong females in my life reminded me that I was capable of anything. Simple reassurances – those will help you.
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Along with my circle of friends, my mum was and still is the reason I’ve been able to ignite such a feminine power. Growing up, I was encouraged to stay true to myself and go with my gut instinct. Sometimes this led me to learn the hard way but I always learned something. Adults always described me as a free-spirited child. I hated rules and being told “no” when I truly felt the answer should be “yes”. When I was in New York, my mum would instill her belief in me any time I was unsure about something. That simple thing gave me so much clarity on my journey and I always worked through the issue.
It saddens and sometimes frustrates me when women don’t know how to identify their force. I, like every other person at the moment, have inhaled Normal People by Sally Rooney and also binged the series. I was horrified to hear a woman on the radio talk about Marianne’s character in such a close-minded and paralysing way. “That girl was pathetic, throwing herself at the guy”, “It was filthy, I felt sorry for that girl”. This is the attitude that should be long gone. Hearing those words, spoken by that woman, triggered me into remembering all the backward women I’ve encountered in my life. It’s that energy that clots the divine feminine flow and frankly, shouldn’t be accepted.
During the pandemic, we are all stuck inside. Most of us are really being tested, even if it is just by boredom. Laps of your home and garden feel as if you’re reading the magazine over and over but it’s actually not the magazine, it’s your life now. Now more than ever is a good time to find your female power. But how? Try stretching with a nice candle burning, getting up a little earlier for a sunrise walk on your own, gardening, calling someone who inspires you, or having a long, hot bath with a book. Here are the things I do at home to spark this magic we all have inside.
1. Create your space or haven, sort of like your dream den. I fire up my oil burner with an essential oil that’s soothing and sensual like ylang-ylang mixed with some drops of lavender.
2. Start journaling, and just get what’s inside out and down on a page. Writing down how you’re feeling is an incredible way to get your feminine energy purring. Get out your notepad and favourite pen and see what appears on the page. Feminine energy is creative energy.
3. Put your favourite face mask on and lie down. Take it as a meditation moment.
4. Move your body because female energy is all about getting in touch with your senses. Play your favourite music inside or through your earphones outside while you exercise.
5. There is so much power in connecting with your own body, and orgasms are one of the best ways to do that. Connecting with your body boosts your confidence, floods you with feel-good endorphins and helps relieve your mind and body from stress. With it being hard to switch off from current stresses and anxieties, it’s a great way to calm down. That state of bliss that follows is crucial to clear, female thinking.
Remember not to feel frustrated if you haven’t found power and force within yourself yet. A lot of these attributes lay dormant, awaiting a situation or feeling to surface. My power was quiet, only appearing occasionally until September 2018. A lot of things in my life made me unhappy before I found it. Now that I have it a lot of stuff still does but, owning and feeling your magic helps you deal with the things life throws your way.
You’re a beautiful creature<3 remember that, always!
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