The amount of sex you want to have, should be having or aren’t having has long been a bone of contention in and outside of relationships. Is there a desired amount? Is there an amount that’s deemed ‘healthy’ in a functioning relationship? Should we want it more than we do? Do we want it too much? Of course, there’s no one size fits all, though the tendency to compare ourselves with one another will remain unwavering. Your sexual habits will depend entirely on your own libido and all that really matters is that you match up well, in terms of physical compatibility, with your partner. While our sex lives will differ from person to person, what’s often assumed is that men want it more than women. Men, as pop culture would have us believe, would take it anywhere, anytime while women are portrayed more often in a ‘take it or leave it’ light.
Contrary to popular belief, women across the board appear to feel shortchanged when it comes to their much-loved roll in the hay. According to new research carried out on some 500 women, our stereotypical assumptions surrounding women and sex were way off. The study, carried out by Kindara, gathered data on 500 women using a fertility awareness app after asking them a series of questions based on common stereotypes, such as ‘how important is an emotional connection with a partner during sex?’ and ‘what factors impede your libido?’
Changing how we think of women and sex, their results found that 13% of respondents would actually like to have sex up to six times per week. Six! As work commitments and life get in the way, you’ll be doing well if you’re hitting it thrice weekly and for some, that’s more than enough. A staggering 75% wished they had the opportunity more than three times in a seven day period while 53% of women were unsatisfied with the amount of lovemaking, for want of a better word, they enjoyed per week. As reported by New York Daily News, more than half of those surveyed agreed that an emotional connection during sex was important. 23.6% disagreed strongly with this, citing foreplay as the most important factor.
Something else we were surprised to learn was that 72.6% of women were lucky enough to enjoy an orgasm in every sexual encounter while a considerable chunk of that number experienced ‘multiple’ high notes per session. We’d figured the results to show quite the opposite, given that a 1994 study on the same subject saw that only 29% of women reached orgasm during sex, compared with 75% of men. What’s changed in the last twenty years?
Understandably, 23.9% of women blamed stress for their lack of sexual satisfaction. In another bending of our expectations, 18% of these women said there was absolutely nothing that could get in the way of their sexual activity, and it’s these women who we’d love to meet. What’s your secret?
Commenting on their findings, lead researcher and assistant professor of psychology at the University of Michigan says “I think a lot of my work is just about applying common sense. Are we really going to believe women do not like sex as much as men?”
So there you have it, to assume that women want sex less than men does nothing more than make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’.