High heeled Crocs.
I’ll give you a second to digest that.
Okay, now another bombshell. High heeled Crocs are sold out everywhere.
The butt of the fashion world’s universal joke, Crocs, have been acid in the eyes of any style lover since their inception in 2002. Despite their squeaky plastic texture, ridiculous structure and all-around bad aesthetic, the shoes have been inexplicably popular all these years, raking in revenue of over $1 billion.
The comfort shoe has even made its way onto high-fashion catwalks, as part of Balenciaga’s SS18 collection, bedazzled with charms including the design houses’ own logo.
There seemed to be a sense of humour around the whole collection, no one truly believing that this show could be the heralding of a new era where Crocs were considered stylish. But we should have listened. We should have heeded the warnings. Because look at us now. Living in a world where not only are high-heeled Crocs a thing, but they’re a thing that is sold out from all major online retailers.
Who is buying these shoes? I demand to know so that I can give them the help they need. There is honestly no reason why you should spend your hard-earned money on shoes that don’t even look comfortable. Honestly, the one single redeemable quality I could glean from trying to find out why people wear Crocs was comfort, and I don’t even believe it to be true. They look like they’d offer no support, aren’t particularly cushioned, and their plastic finish would sweat your feet to a slippy mess.
A colleague of mine here in the IMAGE offices summed up the entire sentiment of this piece beautifully. When she saw the shoes on my computer screen, she took a sharp intake of breath and said: “Oh Jesus, they’re violent”. And violent they are. Do not buy.