Because nothing says Christmas like two women fighting over a Nutribullet.
Brace yourself. The worst of Christmas approaches.
Is Christmas now about the worship of Christ or the worship of products? In the Christmas of today, Black Friday is a pilgrimage of capitalism in a festival of consumerism, removing the Christ from Christmas altogether.
Do we have Black Friday Mania here? I don’t know that we do. You’ve seen the videos from the states of course, like something narrated by David Attenborough – beasts savaging at a carcass, humans ravaging each other, a battle to the death where at the end, the winner gets 20% off a flat screen 4K TV.
At what cost do we get these bargains? What if the cost of that bargain is your very soul, human kindness and freedom? We know that for the price we pay for glittering, HD trinkets of consumerism, real people in the world are suffering.
In the run-up to Christmas I suppose what you should be thinking about is food and squeezing your loved ones to death, wearing your new pyjamas for all of St. Stephen’s Day, and giving and love and blah but here we are. I mean, I don’t know you (well I might – hi Mom) but I have things that I have had my eye on and I’m probably going to log onto River Island myself to pick up a slight discount on these slip-on loafers I’ve been planning outfits around in my head for weeks – the most affordable solution I’ve found to compare to the incomparable Gucci’s – no, I don’t care that you hate them. Really though it’s November, am I ridiculous if I wear backless loafers? Yes, I am but think of the outfits.
We are probably better off avoiding queues and pushing and shoving and just shopping from our laptops at home. However, if you do decide to go to the shops, leave the people who work in retail alone. They just don’t care and they hate you too. Listen to them patiently when they tell you that if you buy two items you get the third item free because it is their job to tell you that. Do you think it was their dream to tell you that? Do not pull your size from the bottom of the pile, just ask them for a size goddammit, don’t you know they have folded those jumpers three hundred times already today? If you rudely ask for a size, of course they are going to say they will “check in the back” but really they are just going to the stock room to have a chat or sit down for five minutes or put the kettle on and then come back and say, “sorry we don’t have your size.” Wouldn’t you?
If you are rude to retail staff or customer service staff or bar staff or restaurant staff, you are everything wrong with the world. Just be nice – as a general life rule.
Anywho, here’s the best beauty deals you can find for Black Friday. Be nice to people, exercise tolerance and compassion in your life, have a lovely Christmas and remember when you are in a sales frenzy that discounted ugly shoes are still ugly shoes. Not my loafers though, obviously.
READ MORE: Make-Up Artist Zoe Clarke On How To Update Your Make-Up Bag For Winter
Origins Most Loved Black Friday Set, €68
Boots Black Friday Weekend Offers. Boots is featuring some amazing offers from beauty and grooming gifts as well as 50% off all advent calendars. Whether you’re looking for a gift for you or someone special, there is something for everyone at Boots. Offers for Black Friday weekend will start from Friday 23rd November 2018 and run through to Friday 30th November and will be available in-store and online at boots.ie.
Neostrata Smooth Surface Daily Peel, €39.99
There is a 25% discount code on all products for Black Friday at Neostrata.ie with the code ‘Neo202. ‘
Benefit Triple Decker Decadence Gift Set, €36
Cloud 10 Beauty
Get 25% off everything from Spotlight Whitening (including the Teeth White Pen, Teeth White Strips and Teeth White Paste, all for €40) at spotlightwhitening.com.
The new ghd contour, available in the sale at ghdhair.com for €74, saving €25
The Skin Nerd
Get a full consultation with the incredible Jennifer Rock for €35 instead of €50 if booking made over Black Friday weekend.
Fuschia Make-Up Instinct Quad, €16.95
Get 30% off all products online all day on Black Friday at fuschia.ie.
ghd curve classic wand, €119.20
Until Monday 26th November, get your hands on a new ghd from today with deals starting at as little as €4.41 including 20% off the ghd curve range, €149, now €119.20 at ghdhair.com.
Stay tuned for more updates.