5 of our favourite funny podcasts to get you through this weird weather weekend
5 of our favourite funny podcasts to get you through this weird weather weekend

Lauren Heskin

If we’re talking about blood clots, we should be talking about the Contraceptive Pill
If we’re talking about blood clots, we should be talking about the Contraceptive Pill

Jennifer McShane

This idyllic Georgian home in Kilkenny with artist’s studio and stone cottage is on the market for €1.3 million
This idyllic Georgian home in Kilkenny with artist’s studio and stone cottage is on the...

Megan Burns

5 signs your relationship has run its course, according to experts
5 signs your relationship has run its course, according to experts

IMAGE

Khloe Kardashian picture: It’s time to take a step back and see how warped this has all become
Khloe Kardashian picture: It’s time to take a step back and see how warped this...

Amanda Cassidy

Operation Forth Bridge: What’s expected following Prince Philip’s death
Operation Forth Bridge: What’s expected following Prince Philip’s death

Jennifer McShane

The menopause is the toughest challenge your skin will ever face: Here are products that will help
The menopause is the toughest challenge your skin will ever face: Here are products that...

Helen Seymour

Image / Self / Health & Wellness / Real-life Stories

Why does no one talk about how great it can be to spend time alone at Christmas?


by Jennifer McShane
25th Dec 2020
blank

Spending time alone at Christmas is underrated, says Jennifer McShane. 


The world was built for two, or so the Christmas ads will tell you, and at this most festive time of year, there can be no escaping the ‘two is company’ mantra. The pressure is undoubtedly on to fill every available slot in your diary simply seeing people: family you haven’t seen in 364 days, friends that you saw at last year’s New Year’s eve party, the neighbour you didn’t know you had… Be around someone, that’s the undercurrent of festive cheer when you take a step back. And yes, this can be glorious; who doesn’t want to be around their nearest and dearest when the weather is cold, Home Alone is playing in the background, and there’s mulled wine to be had?

The thing is, this feels blatantly one-sided to me because even doing that comes with its own pressure.

I am someone who enjoys her own company. I can go anywhere alone, and I happily do so, never feeling like I should plus-one it for the sake of simply having a second body there. I’m basking in my own selfishness if you will. Working to my own agenda, which is compromise-free, for the most part.

However, in my mind’s eye, I often see Mr Grinch wagging his finger at me, thoroughly disappointed as I saunter down Grafton Street solo. “This isn’t the way it’s meant to be at Christmas,” says the sneer-filled voice in my head. And he’s right. Usually, we’re told to spare a thought for those that feel lonely at Christmas — which we should absolutely do; this time of year is hard, not everyone will be jumping for joy — so many don’t even have a home to go to, let alone a Christmas tree — but we’re rarely told to embrace time spent alone.

A different pressure

Because the thing is, there’s a big difference between loneliness and being on your own. It’s perfectly possible to be content in your solitude, happily giving the finger to the spectacle that has become the 12 pubs of Christmas (though, even that was not possible this year) as it is to be blissed out at the centre of a busy group. And one of the reasons I prefer time spent alone this time of year – even during a pandemic – is because being around a lot of people can occasionally make me feel horribly isolated and lonely — the exact opposite of how I feel when I actually am alone.

It’s all to do with the pressure when I’m in a group; the need to be ‘on,’ happy and relaying the few genuinely interesting bits of my life to strangers I’ve never met. I worry that I’m not joining in enough, or that I’ll be the odd one out and somehow have missed the event that everyone talks about for years to come.

And yes, everyone feels loneliness on occasion. It’s part of the human condition but if you enjoy time spent by yourself, you shouldn’t feel constrained by the societal pressures which tell you that, as a woman, you’ve failed if your number one priority isn’t to find a life partner. Or that time alone is, as I’ve been told, “odd.”

Time spent alone for me at such a busy time of year is something I look forward to, to take stock of the highs and lows of the past 12 months and really to remind myself how lucky I am — to be happy and in good health despite personal challenges, is quite a milestone. And as I sat in my new flat, in a new country, completely alone with nothing but fairy lights aglow, I revelled in contentedness with a glass of wine as I pondered the year that was. I realised that I simply felt happy to just be. You’re alone but never really lonely, not if you’ve reached that level of comfort in your own skin.

Main photograph: Unsplash

Also Read

lockdown
HEALTH & WELLNESS
5 tips to help you get back into your routine as we emerge from lockdown

   

By Jennifer McShane

blank
HEALTH & WELLNESS
Ask the expert: Should I consider freezing my eggs?

A long time ago, Edaein O’Connell (25) made a conscious...

By Edaein OConnell

blank
REAL-LIFE STORIES
‘To be depressed after the birth of my son felt selfish. I felt ashamed about the burden I placed on my wife’

Postnatal depression is a harrowing battle at a time when...

By Amanda Cassidy

blank
premium REAL-LIFE STORIES
It’s an exhausting cycle of fear, guilt and shame. The pandemic has seen my monster eating disorder return

The pandemic has deeply disrupted daily life across the world and exacerbated many mental health problems as a result. Here, Michelle Heffernan, writes honestly about her experience with disordered eating

By Michelle Heffernan

blank
HEALTH & WELLNESS
The trickle of information from the Government on restrictions has made a grim situation so much worse

By Amanda Cassidy

first-time dad
PARENTHOOD
‘First-time fatherhood is like the flicking of a switch. Now you’re not. Now you are.’

I’m a dad, a bewildering term, and while nine months...

By Peter Crawley

blank
premium REAL-LIFE STORIES
Lockdown Diary Week 2,304: I think I have a crush on the delivery men. Plural.

After a quick exit from Dublin to rural Ireland in March 2020, Edaein O’Connell has spent nearly a year locked down with family and overfamiliar cows. Here's how she's getting on...

By Edaein OConnell

blank
SELF
Lynn Enright: it’s time to say goodbye to January, there are brighter times ahead

By Lynn Enright