Erectile dysfunction: What causes it and how can you support your partner through it?

Chances are you and your other half can talk about pretty much anything. Few topics are off the table. But erectile dysfunction?

Well, that’s often a topic that’s left firmly in the “Do Not Discuss” folder and it can wreak havoc on a relationship, not just because it causes issues in the bedroom, but because it can lead to a breakdown in communication between you and your significant other as well.

As awkward as it may be to chat about, erectile dysfunction (ED) is actually pretty common. One study suggests that around 52% of men have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection at some point in their lives – a percentage that increases passed the age of 40.

Causes and treatments

So, what causes it and how do you treat it?

The first important point to note? Erectile dysfunction can be both physical and psychological. It’s often as much about what’s going on inside your partner’s head as it is about his body.

“Stress, anxiety, and depression can all play a role in the development of the condition,” says Aliyah Moore, certified sex therapist and relationship expert at SexualAlpha.

She notes that performance anxiety, in particular, can create a cycle of erectile difficulties where fear of failure becomes a significant obstacle to arousal and sexual satisfaction. Relationship problems, communication issues, and unresolved emotional conflicts can have a knock-on effect as well.

Lifestyle

On the physical side of things, Aliyah says lifestyle factors like lack of exercise and poor diet can contribute to obesity and metabolic syndrome, which are associated with an increased risk of erectile dysfunction.

“Erectile function is closely tied to cardiovascular health because restricted blood flow to the penis makes it difficult to achieve and maintain an erection,” she explains.

“Lifestyle choices like smoking and excessive drinking can exacerbate these issues, as they have a negative impact on your heart.”

While it’s normal for most men to experience ED occasionally – especially as they age and their levels of testosterone drop – frequent ED can be a sign of an underlying health concern – like hypertension, high cholesterol, and diabetes, to name a few.

Certain medications can interfere with your other half’s ability to get and stay hard too. Look out for antidepressants and antipsychotics which can impact his hormones, blood circulation, and nerve signals.

Cultural expectations

So, the causes of ED are kinda complex. What’s more, emotionally it can be a vicious cycle.

“Men with ED can feel frustrated, disappointed, and inadequate, and experience a loss of control over one’s own body,” says Aliyah.

This can be made worse by cultural expectations around masculinity and virility, and the worse he feels, the more his sexual function is likely to suffer.

Other options

It’s not all bad news. Fortunately, there are lots of ways to treat ED. If your other half is looking for an official diagnosis, Aliyah says his ED problems must be continuous and recurring. 

If he meets certain medical criteria, he may be offered an oral medication – like Viagra – as a first-line treatment. “These work by relaxing the muscles in the penis, thus increasing blood flow,” Aliyah explains.

And if he doesn’t respond well to oral medication? “Vacuum erection devices which work by using suction to draw blood into the penis are another option,” says Aliyah. “As are intracavernosal injections and surgical options like penile implants.”

Many times a trip to the doctor’s isn’t necessary and your other half may notice an improvement simply by making a few lifestyle tweaks.

The usual health and wellbeing advice applies. He should exercise more regularly, quit smoking, reduce how much he drinks, and improve his diet.

Diet

Where the latter is concerned, there’s some research to suggest that upping his intake of flavonoid-rich foods like strawberries and raspberries can help tackle ED. Other ED-combatting foods he should add to his plate include leafy green vegetables, olive oil, and fish like salmon.

Supplements may help too. “L-arginine is an amino acid found in many supplements which may help relax blood vessels and increase blood flow to the penis,” says Aliyah.

“Panax ginseng is another herbal remedy that has been studied for its potential benefits in improving erectile function. Some studies have suggested that ginseng can increase the production of nitric oxide and enhance blood flow,” she notes.

Conversation

The most vital element of all may be in wrangling that tricky beast we mentioned earlier: conversation. You have a vital role to play in normalising ED and treating your other half with empathy, compassion, and understanding.

You can share information on what causes ED, how common it is, and the many ways it can be treated, as well as remind your partner of all the reasons you love them outside of the bedroom.

Aliyah encourages you to set aside a dedicated time for these discussions and to create a judgement-free environment where your partner feels safe to express their feelings and be vulnerable.

Just talking through what’s on their mind – whether it’s work stress, performance anxiety, or something completely out of left field – can be an incredible stress reliever, and in time, you might find that their ED becomes less frequent.

In the meantime, you and your other half can find ways to connect outside of the bedroom. Aliyah advises finding hobbies you can enjoy together and exploring non-sexual forms of physical closeness – which not only builds intimacy but can take away some of the pressure placed on sexual performance.

ED may be one of those relationship issues you’d rather not talk about, but when you deal with it together it can be a real bonding experience. When tackled without shame or stigma, it can actually be a challenge that brings you closer.

Always consult with your doctor or pharmacist before beginning a new supplement, particularly if you are on medication or have an underlying health condition.

Meaghers Pharmacy is a leading pharmacy with 9 Dublin-based locations and a thriving online store at meaghers.ie. Speak to the Meaghers teams today for best advice and support around health & wellness, skincare and beauty.