It’s hard to believe that this luxurious Ballsbridge home used to be an eye clinic
It’s hard to believe that this luxurious Ballsbridge home used to be an eye clinic

Megan Burns

Uma Thurman shares her private abortion heartbreak in response to new Texas law
Uma Thurman shares her private abortion heartbreak in response to new Texas law

Sarah Finnan

Esther O’Moore Donohoe: ‘Back in the formal office structure, what have I taken away?’
Esther O’Moore Donohoe: ‘Back in the formal office structure, what have I taken away?’

IMAGE

The five beauty products to know used backstage at London Fashion Week
The five beauty products to know used backstage at London Fashion Week

Holly O'Neill

Kate Winslet wanted a ‘bulgy bit of belly’ left in one ‘Mare of Easttown’ scene and we love her for it
Kate Winslet wanted a ‘bulgy bit of belly’ left in one ‘Mare of Easttown’ scene...

Sarah Finnan

How do you know when it’s time to quit your job? 
How do you know when it’s time to quit your job? 

Sinead Brady

12 contemporary tile designs to inspire a kitchen makeover
12 contemporary tile designs to inspire a kitchen makeover

Shayna Sappington

Dogs Trust is encouraging Irish employers to allow dogs in the workplace
Dogs Trust is encouraging Irish employers to allow dogs in the workplace

Sarah Finnan

The HSE will provide free online counselling for those with anxiety and depression
The HSE will provide free online counselling for those with anxiety and depression

Megan Burns

The secret rage of motherhood: ‘I never imagined that my child could be both the trigger and target of my anger’
The secret rage of motherhood: ‘I never imagined that my child could be both the...

Amanda Cassidy

Image / Editorial

The Wind Down Diaries


by Laura George
29th Jun 2013
blank

Day One
Sweaty sleep of the dead after a few drinks- oblivious to hum of angry mozzies, slight whiff of sewage in villa and Olympic snoring of equally shattered partner. Up and out, squinting into the bright, just in time to confirm that all the croissants in the patisserie have already been snapped up by more organised tourists. Forced to snaffle cold tart laced with bits of dessicated olives, tiny fish bones and a semi-hardened cheese roof instead. Frantic whip round the hypermarket before its lengthy (and indeterminate) lunchtime closing. Pace and military precision when picking tomatoes etc clearly upsetting to locals, who wisely operate trolleys and themselves on much lower levels of octane.

Day Two
Unveiling of the holiday wardrobe highlights- not so much an exercise in colour blocking as in inappropriate footwear. Orange suede heels purchased guiltily in the first flush of the BTs sale do not steer at all well on gravel and ubiquitous cobblestones, leading to first casualty.? To add insult to injury, they will also get no wear at the office.? At least the box is a thing of beauty and everything looks good with flip flops and an ankle support.

Day Three
Sneak consultations on weather.com to ascertain whether the unseasonably cool, grey cloudcover is meant to last and for exactly how long. As long as it’s worse in Dublin, resolve not to care and publicly praise the fact that it isn’t roasting so group hysteria kept under control. A cultural outing is planned- proof that everyone to a man and woman is concerned about putting a brave face on it. Gentle fifteen minute sunset yoga session by the sub-zero pool justifies seven course evening feed.

Day Four
What day is it? This question marks the pinnacle of every holiday.? The Twilight alabaster tinge having given way to genuine frecklage, even though it’s been ?overcast?, the personal time/space continuum has altered significantly enough to have made it all worthwhile. Thundery power outage fries Kindle and mobile but promises an end to poor weather- an entirely acceptable trade-off. Universal late night chat theme- whether to stay in current state of employ. Epiphanies abound.

Day Five
Obligatory visit to local GP for antibiotic bite cream, something for the baby’s sore throat, stitches and tummy upsets (Dodgy sardines? Iffy moules? Sketchy local moonshine?). Everyone deeply impressed by 1) number of suppositories prescribed 2) relative efficiency of Health Service 3) lack of need to produce that plastic E11 card you’re supposed to carry everywhere with you.

Day Before Return
Re-entry, anxiety-fuelled early start: 5:30am (that’s 4:30 home time). Having tracked down an anaemic wifi signal to a remote corner of a local caf? populated entirely by grizzly old men, sunrise breakfast consists of light grazing on 589 emails from previous week, justified by excuse that, ?it will make the transition back to work easier if the backlog’s cleared.?? The seal now broken, the day is marred by repeat mini-voms of real-life angst, which are further exacerbated by placing the online Superquinn order. Nothing like grocery shopping to land you right back in the trenches.

Last Day
The most cracking weather imaginable presages a sprint to the deck chairs at first light. Absolutely no SPF used to insure maximum burn (ie value for money once back at the desk).? Two hour drive to airport, flight delayed, home at 12:30am, shagged but triumphant.

 

@lgeorge353

Also Read

blank
EDITORIAL
This is what happens when you hypersexualise young girls growing up

Who is demanding the fetishization of young girls anyway?”When I was working in my early twenties, and even my late...

By Amanda Cassidy

blank
IMAGE WRITES
The sexist commentary at Wimbledon still remains a problem

Wimbledon in 2021 and once again female athletes are singled out on the playing field, a great deal of the...

By Jennifer McShane

blank
EDITORIAL
‘Quite interesting’: Princess Anne comments on The Crown

We’ve all heard that the royal family don’t exactly gather round to watch The Crown, but one member has shared...

By Jennifer McShane

blank
EDITORIAL
‘Totally allowed but totally shouldn’t: Welcome to the Great Irish Pandemic Paradox’

In a time when cool heads are needed – it’s more than the current heatwave that’s melting minds, writes Amanda...

By Amanda Cassidy

blank
EDITORIAL
“A slap in the face for all the victims”: Outcry over Bill Cosby’s release from prison

This is why rape victims think twice before coming forward, writes Amanda Cassidy He was once known as “America’s Dad”...

By Amanda Cassidy

Mandy Moore pumping
EDITORIAL
Mandy Moore climbed an active volcano at dawn… while pumping

Hiking a mountain and breast pumping – now, that’s what we call multitasking at its finest. Mandy Moore enjoyed an...

By Sarah Finnan

alternative asthma treatments
EDITORIAL
Three alternative asthma treatments to try this hayfever season

Approximately 80% of people with asthma also suffer from hayfever, which can make summer days a nightmare. These three alternative...

By Grace McGettigan