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Sapiosexuality: Peak pretentious or legitimate sexual preference?


By Amanda Cassidy
21st Sep 2019
Sapiosexuality: Peak pretentious or legitimate sexual preference?

Could identifying as sapiosexual be the latest trend in ridiculous labels for those who want to come across as superior to others? Or a true sexual orientation? Amanda Cassidy on loving brains before beauty. 


It’s a noble cause; loving someone for their intellect above all else. And in a world where ditzy has been championed for so long, it sure is refreshing to shine a little light on those with smarts.

But as a sexual orientation, isn’t that taking things too far? I mean, where does it stop. Is there a word for being sexually attracted to people with lots of money?

This week Mark Ronson joined the Sapiosexuality gang. He ‘came out’ on live TV (despite not knowing it exists). The Grammy-winning writer and producer appeared on Good Morning Britain to discuss his new album.

Casually mentioning that the French equality minister, Marlene Schiappa was mocked for saying she identifies as sapiosexual, presenter Kate Garraway asked Ronson what he thought. “Yeah I didn’t know that there was a word for it,” he responded. “We were all arguing backstage in the dressing room with a couple of your producers. And yes, I feel like I am identifying as sapiosexual.”

Ben Shephard said: “So you are coming out as sapiosexual. Out and proud on Good Morning Britain.”

The term is described as those who prefer intelligence first, then attraction. That’s despite what gender the bright spark might be. Author Nicci Nodgson explained his take on it. “I date men and women and identify as bisexual, and I realised the thing that linked all people that I have dated has been their brains.

We know a certain percentage of the population is sapiosexual. It’s always existed we just didn’t have a word for it.”

“What about if you find tiny hands sexy. Or what if a bright burning head of orange hair lights your fire? Maybe jokes are your aphrodiasiac”.

Aphrodisiac

Writer for the Daily Beast, Samantha Allan first heard the term four years ago; “In every scientific and sociological sense of the term, sapiosexuality is not a sexual orientation. A person who likes writers is not a scribosexual, a person who likes lawyers is not a jurosexual, and a person who loudly proclaims that they only date smart people might be dangerously full of themselves, but they’re not a “sapiosexual.”

Perhaps it is simply a shorter way of describing someone bisexual who is attracted to smarts? But must everything be defined into small tight categories?

The Urban Dictionary currently describes a sapiosexual person as someone who finds intelligence and the human mind to be the most sexually attractive feature for a potential sexual relationship.

The origin of the word comes from the term “sapiens,” which means wise or judicious, as well as the word “sexual.” So if there is a word for when the mind turns you on, then why not cover all bases. What about if you find tiny hands sexy. Or what if a bright burning head of orange hair lights your fire? Maybe jokes are your aphrodiasiac. So where do you draw the line?

Sexy minds

Dianna Raab is an author and poet. She identifies as sapiosexual and believes it doesn’t necessarily have to involve intimacy. “As foreplay, the sapiosexual person may crave philosophical, political, or psychological discussions, because this turns them on. Although the attraction is not always connected to sexuality, it often is.

Sometimes, however, platonic friendships between the sexes are also dependent on sapiosexual desires. This intellectual synergy simply fires up the relationship. This is often seen in the workplace and may be viewed as another aspect of being sapiosexual — that is, a desire to be connected with intellectuals, although the outcome is not always an intimate encounter”.

So technically you could be sapiosexually into your boss if you admire their intellect and whip-smart strategies?

So then, surely this is nothing new? Brilliance and charisma has always been attractive; otherwise the less-sculpted of us would remain without a mate (or a friend) for life.

“There are other ways to repel stupidity. In fact, I’m thinking of one now”.

Sha, la, la, la..Shallow

Isn’t this just a way of expressing that you are not shallow and you value cleverness? By that logic, the non-sapiosexuals of the world are dummy-loving vacuous, flesh-craving, bulge-obsessed heathens, unconcerned about anything other than copulation and having pretty eyebrows.

Sometimes there doesn’t have to be words to describe every nuance, every preference, every type of person. We tell our children to steer clear of labels and boxes and then invent new words for something that already exists. There are other ways to repel stupidity. In fact, I’m thinking of one now.

I fancy my guy because he is smart and fun and kind and yes, handsome. The order of those things switch and change depending on mood. That’s life. The messy, grey, chaotic, delightfulness of life. Cutting that chemistry down to something so binary in such a, let’s be honest, superior way, is silly.

Being smart is hot, there is no doubt about that. But let’s not all lose our sexy minds over this just yet.

Image via ITV.com 

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