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Image / Editorial

‘I feel like a failure as a mom’: YouTuber faces backlash after she finds new home for her adopted child


by Shayna Sappington
29th May 2020
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Popular parenting vlogger, Myka Stauffer, recently announced her and her husband’s controversial decision to rehome their adopted child.


YouTuber Myka Stauffer and her husband James are facing backlash after they announced their decision to rehome their adopted son.

Myka, a popular YouTuber with over 700,000 subscribers, is known for her videos on parenting, house organising and all things “mom life”.

Her and James have four biological children together, and they adopted a fifth child from China, named Huxley, almost three years ago.

They documented their journey with Huxley, and his adoption video now has over five-and-a-half million views.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TL7nPuAjoRs&t=10s

However, when Myka’s subscribers noticed the four-year-old was missing from her recent videos, they began asking questions.

In response, the parents recently uploaded a video, explaining that they had decided to rehome Huxley.

Grief

The 12-month process, they said, was “really hard” and they’ve been grieving his absence in the home.

James opened up about their struggle with the boy, saying: “Once Huxley came home, there was a lot more special needs that we weren’t aware of, and that we were not told.”

“There wasn’t a minute that we didn’t try our hardest,” Myka added.

“Numerous medical professionals have felt that he needed a different fit, and that [with] his medical needs, he needed more.”

Myka pushed back tears, saying that she felt like a failure as a mom and wished she could give us more details about what they went through.

“The reason why we can’t go into detail of what actually transpired is because we’re truly trying to protect Huxley’s privacy,” they explained.

A new home

However, the couple did confirm that the adoption agency has found the boy a new “forever home”.

“His new mommy has medical professional training. They placed him with the perfect match. He’s thriving, happy and doing really well,” Myka said.

After the video, some of Myka’s subscribers criticised her for their decision to rehome Huxley.

Backlash

“[I’m an] adoptive mother and our son had a host of special needs that we were not clearly aware of and dealt with. (He is now an adult and doing well). We did not have the [same] money or resources as the Stauffers but we soldiered on,” said one comment.

“[We] built a support system, got therapies and help. I worked side hustles to pay for medical care. I would have never thought of giving up on him and definitely not after three years.”

Another unsubscribed from Myka’s channel, saying: “Giving away one of my children isn’t a viable option for me, though. Surely there are better methods of managing the obligations you willingly accepted. Frankly, I’m not interested in any kind of advice from anyone who would do this.”

“Your child was too hard to handle? So you … gave him back? Like … a gift receipt. That poor sweet thing,” said one Twitter user.

However, other parents have defended the couple, understanding how hard the situation was.

Support

“It was more than just autism and ADHD, and until you have had to take care of a special needs child how bout quit judging them,” wrote one fan. 

“My mom passed and it was left up to me to take care of my special needs sister and believe me it’s not easy. And now I know just how strong my mom was to have done it on her own all these years. I’m glad they found him a family that could give him a better life than what they could.”

“It’s not only because he has autism,” another said on Facebook. “I do not know about his medical conditions and its theirs to keep it private if they want for the sake of his privacy.”

The main concern comments have shown is not just the parents’ decision, but the fact that Myka makes her living off her parenting videos. Some feel that the child has been exploited in that regard, while others say that the public has no right to judge their decision and that Myka made the best choice for both her family and Huxley.

 

Read more: The beautiful chaos of having two children under two

Read more: Coronavirus Commune: meet the families who found a way to thrive through the crisis

Read more: 20 things you should know before you become a parent

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