Irish office complaints you’ll hear in the heatwave

We don’t know if it’s the same in your office, but here at IMAGE HQ, the standard water cooler chat has changed from ‘Jesus, isn’t the weather just desperate’, when it’s absolutely Baltic, to ‘Jesus, isn’t the weather just desperate’, when it’s absolutely boiling.

Clearly, whether it’s raining, snowing, or splitting the stones outside, we Irish are a bunch of perpetual moaners. Are we ever happy? Sure, the blue skies are nice, and it’s certainly refreshing not to be blown off the pier as we shuffle our way through Dun Laoghaire at 9am, but God almighty, despite our authority on all things beauty and fashion, there isn’t enough deodorant in the world to keep us cool at work.

Here’s a sample of what’s been roared around the office as temperatures have soared this week.

Note to all office bosses: functioning fans are a worthy investment. Y’know, for the odd five days a year when our hands begin to stick to the keyboard as though emitting a strange, sweaty glue.

1. ‘I’m so hot, I think the wires are melting off my bra.’

2. ‘I feel like I’m working in a menopausal stew.’

3. ‘Can we change the office dress code to nudist? Sure it’d be grand.’

4. ‘I got caught between a man’s sweaty rear end and an over-heating woman on the Luas yesterday, not ideal.

5. ‘It’s almost just toooo hot, isn’t it.’

6. ‘Well now we do need a bit of rain, think of the plants!’

7. ‘I must remember to shave my legs at some point so I can actually wear shorts instead of skinny jeans.’

8. ‘I had to switch off the electric blanket last night, it was that hot.’

9. ‘But isn’t awful ‘heavy’ outside.’

10. ‘Well, you don’t need to have the immersion on for too long, the water heats itself.’

And perhaps the only positive…

11. ‘But isn’t there great drying in that weather all the same.’

What have you been complaining of in this genuine summer we’re experiencing?