No Irish woman would be swindled by the Tinder Swindler
This all could have been prevented with a basic understanding of one word: notions.
We may only be a couple of months in, but 2022 is already shaping up to be year of the scammer. Nothing has captured the cultural zeitgeist so fully since Connell’s chain during the Normal People era of lockdown and Netflix has certainly been feeding our fraudster obsession with their recent roster of content.
If it’s not Anna Delvey we’re discussing, it’s Robert Hendey-Freegard and The Puppet Master. Earlier this year we learned of actor Zachary Horwitz who was sentenced to 20 years jail time for a multi-million dollar Ponzi scheme he orchestrated. And how could we forget Fyre Festival, the one that started it all with that infamous Evian story?
Needless to say, there have been many jaw-dropping moments to speak of in recent months, but The Tinder Swindler continues to blow our minds… mostly because I don’t think any Irish woman would swipe right on him in the first place.
Obviously, attraction is subjective, so I can’t account for everyone’s tastes here, but generally speaking –such flamboyant displays of wealth give Irish people the ick. Even just one single photo of a man on a private jet or dressed head-to-toe in designer gear would be enough to send me running in the other direction. It doesn’t matter how good looking the person is, or whether I think we’d have anything in common. I can’t really explain it, but such is the nature of the ick.
Essentially, I think that it all boils down to the idea of notions… and there’s no greater affliction where the Irish are concerned. As Emma Langford once pointed out on Twitter, the full phrase is actually “notions of grandeur” but we rarely use that because… well, notions.
Tinder Swindler in Ireland is the lad that went to the nightclubs once a year and the only thing he was swiping was the end of leftover drinks to pour into one big glass to make it appear he'd been supping all night.
— Paul (@PaulEyezOnMe) February 13, 2022
If the Tinder Swindler was Irish ?? pic.twitter.com/BkuF5m3yKS
— LauraH? (@H_Miss88) February 18, 2022
We don’t like people having ideas above their station. Irish people are self-deprecating to the point of cynicism. We can’t accept compliments, nor do we want to, and anyone who goes against that just immediately rubs us the wrong way.
‘you pay for the taxi into town, I’ll get you a pint later on’ pic.twitter.com/5cu90JC4mU
— RB. (@randallbell) February 8, 2022
As an aside, does the above photo remind anyone else of that Goodfella’s Pizza ad where the child is sitting on a wheely office chair petting a cat? The child spins around to say “I’ve been expecting you” when their sibling comes back into the room, then the camera flashes to the pizza and I don’t remember the rest, but between the crossed legs, clasped hands and very serious expression, it’s clear that Simon Leviev has quite a few notions, actually.
Love Island contestants always talk about “banter”, but round these parts, it’s more important to be able to take the piss out of yourself. Pose on a private jet if you must, but at least add #notions so we know you’re sound.