Ten small habits that help soothe my broken mum nervous system

There was a time, not too long ago, when my nervous system felt like it was on high alert every single day. The smallest thing, like a room being too loud or too hot, could send me spiralling into a panic attack. The thing was – for me – these attacks didn’t feel like the culmination of a buildup of anxiety; they came out of nowhere.

Within the space of a month, I was having a panic attack at least once a week. They would come out of nowhere. Everything would feel normal – I would be out for dinner or chatting to a friend – and then suddenly my body would physically start reacting as though I was in extreme, life-threatening danger.

It would feel as though I was standing on a cliff and someone behind me shoved me, hard, towards the edge. Adrenaline would shoot all around my body, my hands would go weak, my heart would thump, and on a few occasions, my legs wouldn’t work. Everything would close in. I would shake, sometimes violently, and always uncontrollably. I would vomit, I would have diarrhoea. I would go white and sweat. I couldn’t speak more than a few words at a time, and these were just the physical manifestations. What was happening inside my head was darker still.

Each panic attack would last at least a few hours, as my body struggled to bring itself back to ‘normal’. If you’ve ever experienced a panic attack, you’ll know: it’s utterly terrifying, and after the fact, completely exhausting. It feels like you have run five marathons the next day.

Now, fold motherhood into the mix. Kids are both a balm and a trigger. My boys’ sleepy kisses and cuddles soothe my system like nothing else. But the utter chaos of motherhood – the noise, the constant demands, the lack of sleep, the never-ending pushing of limits – also stretches my nervous system to its absolute edge. And it’s not something I can tap out of.

So, while continuing to do the inner work to get to the root of the fear that was consuming my body, I was forced to begin finding ways to soothe and regulate my nervous system on a daily basis. I had to take it back to basics.

Below is what I’ve learned, slowly and with a lot of trial and error. And unfortunately, regulating a nervous system isn’t about one big fix. It’s about the tiny, ordinary things that remind a body it’s safe. They are boring, mundane things that help your body cosy into itself.

Over time, they’ve started stitching me back together. Some of them are embarrassingly simple. But they work. And if you’re in that place where your system feels frazzled, maybe they might help you too.

1. Emptying my head into a journal

Not every night. Not with pressure. Just whenever the mood catches me, I write it all down. The mess, the fear, the nonsense. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense. The point is to get it out of my head.

2. Setting a timer for five minutes and doing nothing

Literally nothing. No planning, no productivity. Just sitting there breathing. It’s shocking how difficult this is, but also how calming.

3. Slow eating

Instead of wolfing down lunch while scrolling Instagram and replying to an email, I try to just… eat. Slowly. Bite by bite. It feels like giving myself permission to exist.

4. Sighing

This one is wild. A big, exaggerated sigh, a few times a day. Five seconds in, five seconds out. Make the noise and all. My whole body softens instantly.

5. Massage (DIY style)

When the kids are watching TV, I grab some CBD balm and rub it into my back, my feet, wherever needs love.

6. Bending routines

If the kids bedtime is a little later because extra cuddles were needed (from me and them), then that’s ok. Letting go of the rules I have made for myself eases the inner tension

7. Legs against the wall

Five minutes with my legs resting up the wall and my nervous system shifts gear. Honestly, it’s magic.

8. Acupuncture

I never expected to love this, but it’s been a game-changer. It feels like someone pressing the reset button on my whole system.

9. Art

Before I became a mum, I used to scribble and sketch all the time. I started taking an art class again, and the joy I get from creating something with my hands is out of this world.

10. Somatics (yes, rocking)

This one sounds mad, I know. But moving, shaking, even rocking like a toddler works. It discharges energy that would otherwise sit in my chest like a stone.

None of these things on their own is a cure, and I am very much still figuring this stuff out.. But I thought rather than wait until I have the answer and everything wrapped in a nice bow, I would share. Because if you’re there right now, in the middle of it, please know this: you’re not broken. This will end. Your body is just asking for some care.