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Image / Self / Advice

Change coach: “Remember that little girl in all her innocence believing that everything in life was hers if she wanted it? It still can be.”


by Niamh Ennis
13th Mar 2021

getty

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Change coach Niamh Ennis on the importance of rediscovering your childhood belief in magic and in yourself.

 What is magic?

For me, magic is that feeling of being able to be totally myself, showing up just as I am; free of judgement and being guided only by what my heart knows to be true.

You know that feeling when you’ve tried everything. 

You’ve managed to save some money, get into the habit of some daily exercise, you’ve booked dinner with your friends (pre-pandemic, clearly) you bought some new luxurious bedlinen, got that book you’ve been wanting to read, or the latest make up palette – and yes it instantly fed that part of you that really loves when you do something or when you buy something new. 

You felt that frisson, that excitement. 

But then it disappears and it’s gone.
And you’re back to where you were.
Feeling how you were.

Does this resonate with you?

Every day really starts to feel the same.
At home, at work and deep inside you.

This repetition makes you believe that this is just how it is supposed to be.
And that you should accept it.
It can feel like there is no escaping this mundanity.
You know you’re stuck in a rut a
You’ve left it too late to change anything.

You’ve lost your magic.

Do you think this might be happening because you are doing the things you’ve been told all along would make you happy, rather than those that genuinely make you FEEL differently?  What might happen if you listened to what your heart wanted? Might you feel better, happier, more in alignment? 

Well, I know this to be true, because I spent so much of my life living in boxes that other people created. Admittedly not all of these boxes were unhappy places, but none of them were my own and for that reason I knew they were not where I belonged.  

Each time I thought about creating my own, or chasing my own desires, I stopped myself. Each time I went looking for my magic it just felt so out of my reach. I fantasised about it what it might look like, what it would feel to be the creator of my own ordinary destiny, and while it felt incredible, I simply had no idea what I wanted.

This is exactly what prevents so many of us from choosing to pursue our own needs and desires. 

We waste so much time complaining about all that’s wrong in our life, saying things like “they all take me for granted, nobody listens to me, my feelings don’t matter, what I have to say gets ignored, I always feel like the odd one out”. 

We catastrophise as we slip back into victim mode. It becomes our story and in this story we remain totally disconnected to our magic. 

Some of this may indeed be true for you, as it was for me, but when I finally took the chance to take control and went in search of my magic, I very quickly discovered that I actually had no idea how to answer the most important questions that would lead me there. 

Questions like…

  • What in fact do I want?
  • What is it I like?
  • Who do I like, honestly? Who makes me feel good about myself?
  • What matters most to me, right now?

Odd isn’t it, such simple questions, but here I was finding myself, a forty-something woman, with no clue of even where to begin to start finding the answers. I didn’t know what I wanted because I had spent so long focusing on what other people wanted.  I didn’t know what I liked because my priority was to give others what they liked and I believed that would make me happy. I wasn’t even sure who I really liked because I’d worked on the basis that history and common experiences were enough. It didn’t matter how they made me feel. And with regards to what mattered to me – I just thought it was the same things that mattered to everyone else. That was my compass. 

It’s no wonder I got so lost along the way. It’s no wonder I struggled to find my way home. It’s no wonder I couldn’t locate my inner magic.

Rediscovering her

Why was I so convinced that if I stuck at it that the rewards would make it all worthwhile?  What made me believe that freedom-driven, wide-eyed, real, vibrant, truth-seeking woman I once was, was still there. 

I knew she was in me.
I know she is in you. She never left.
You just stopped allowing her shine. 

I’d bet that someone, somewhere, told you that it wasn’t safe for her to be seen. And you listened and you believed and you dimmed your light just so that you would fit in.

But because you know she was there once, this is your evidence that she can be resurrected again. You can still remember that little girl in all her innocence believing that everything in life was hers if she wanted it. It still can be.

You’re ready now to step back into that woman that your younger self saw for you. To reignite all that you have dimmed, all that you have hidden, to step forward into who you now know you were always supposed to be. You are ready to start believing in magic again.

There isn’t anything that you need to be doing to make you magical. You just are. It comes from within.  Like love and freedom, magic is who you are and not what you do. 

It’s never too late to locate and reconnect with your magic, it’s never too late to start again and it most certainly is never too late to choose to ask yourself what it is that you want, and know you deserve from your life. 

In the words of Roald Dahl, “those who don’t believe in magic will never find it”.

Niamh Ennis is Ireland’s leading Transformation Coach. She works with women who feel disconnected from themselves and helps them bridge that gap between how they show up in the world and who they really are inside. Niamh is hosting a very special online workshop in April called RECONNECT . To find out more click here.

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