How to Have Sex: The provocative new film from director Molly Manning Walker

Molly Manning Walker’s debut, How to Have Sex, is a deeply relatable look at young adulthood – and with the director pushing for it to be part of the sex ed curriculum over in the UK, there’s a strong case to be made for it to be essential viewing for teenagers. 

The synopsis states; “three British teenage girls go on a rites-of-passage holiday, drinking, clubbing and hooking up in what should be the best summer of their lives. As they dance their way across the sun-drenched streets of Malia, they find themselves navigating the complexities of sex, consent and self-discovery.” 

A deceptively simple story set in a deceptively simple world, the film touches on topics ranging from female friendship to consent to the responsibilities of adulthood. These are things all teenagers deal with, but that doesn’t make them any less difficult to talk about. 

However, getting people talking is the very reason Walker wanted to make this film in the first place. “I was assaulted when I was 16 and it’s something that I’ve always felt really close to talking about,” Walker tells me over Zoom. “And for me, as a 16-year-old, I was like, everyone always avoids the topic or it sucks the air out of the room when you talk about it. And actually, what you need to do is talk about it to get over it. So it felt weird to me that it was so avoided.”

Coming up with the bones of the story while catching up with old friends at a wedding, Walker agrees that it was definitely a strange experience to revisit that time in her life – as she puts it, “it’s been amazing and also tough to kind of get back to it”. 

What struck her most was how much memory, or rather our perception of memory, can change over time. For example, one particularly provocative scene (Walker refers to it as the “blowjob on stage scene”) was modelled after something that actually happened while she was on a similar holiday with friends in Magaluf. “I was standing on a pool table watching it happen, and I remember being like, ‘What the hell is happening? Am I the only person that thinks this is weird?’ Because that’s mad. And then actually when I reconnected with some old mates, everyone was like, ‘That was really crazy’. And so yeah, I guess we were all kind of pretending that it was fine.” 

“I think you’re so scared to stick out that you’re like, ‘Must pretend everything is fine’”, Walker continues. “I don’t know if it’s secrecy or more a cover-up.”                                                                       

If the tongue-in-cheek title drew you in, you’re not alone – beginning with the words ‘how to’, you’d be forgiven for mistaking the film as an instructional guide. Was that her intention? “I think that’s how we thought you had sex when we were that age. We taught each other how to have sex based on no facts at all,” she laughs, unphased by the misconception.  

Drawing comparisons to Charlotte Wells’ Aftersun (starring our own Paul Mescal), Walker cites Peter Dench’s photography book The British Abroad, along with films American Honey and Fat Girl as her personal references when prepping to shoot. 

“I really looked at how director Andrea Arnold covers large groups of kids [in American Honey], you know, because it’s really rooted in one person’s point of view, but you’re kind of collecting the group dynamic as well.”

Social media often gets a bad rap, particularly where teenagers are involved, but TikTok was another intrinsic resource for the team. “I did loads of research on TikTok,” Walker admits. “I mean, we’ve got hundreds of videos downloaded from TikTok, like performance stuff, costumes, definitely music references. We also cast Laura Ambler off TikTok who plays Paige.” Scanning the app for everything from outfit ideas to of-the-moment DJs and the best clubs, it’s clear that the groundwork paid off as the result is as close to the bone as you can get – Tara’s neon green dress lives on as a reminder of my own woeful teenage outfit choices of the past. 

As already mentioned, consent is central to the storyline and Walker’s depiction of the perceived grey area that exists between ‘yes’ and ‘no’ has already struck a chord with viewers. Discussing the male characters for a moment, Walker says the portrayal of Paddy and Badger was meticulously thought out. “I kind of wanted Badger to be complicit and enabling because the idea with the boys was, to kind of get men to recognise themselves in the characters and yet still fail, you know. I didn’t want to give them a way out,” she explains. 

“I think it’s quite hard to recognise yourself in Paddy, but it’s easy to recognise yourself in Badger because he’s a bit funnier and bumblier and although you kind of judge him at first, he turns out to be slightly more sensitive. But then he makes excuses for Paddy. He never stands up for Tara. So I kind of wanted people to be like, ‘Damn, I shouldn’t be like Badger.’ They definitely shouldn’t be like Paddy but they also shouldn’t be like Badger.”

Showing now in select Irish cinemas, the global reception has been exceedingly positive so far – which means everything to Walker. “It feels good. I mean, it’s just great that people get to see the film, you know. I guess that’s why we made it and spent so long just doubting that anyone was gonna see it. So yeah, it’s nice to get it out there.”

Pushing for it to be made part of the UK sex ed curriculum, the director is hopeful that the film will help to open up discussions around sex and consent amongst teenagers. What’s the resounding message she’d like audiences to take away with them? “I guess to be kinder to each other. Try and empathise with what other people are going through. Try to understand each other, communicate better with each other.”

How to Have Sex is open now in select cinemas nationwide.