We’ve reached the stage of boredom where Woodies reopening has been treated like a festival launch

With phase one of lockdown lifting today, it seems the reopening of large DIY stores like Woodies has been the one change that really has the Irish public talking.

May 18 2020 will go down as the day in history that we all started to get a little reprieve from lockdown. We can now travel up to 5km from home, meet up with a friend outdoors, and even play a few sports like golf and tennis.

However, the thing that is getting most people talking isn’t any of these new-found freedoms, but instead the fact that hardware stores like Woodies have been allowed to open. The buzz has been akin to the launch of a hot new festival, with barriers set up and crowds descending.

Haahahaha first day of easing the lockdown and ppl are already going mad. I wonder what all this ppl reallllllyyy need to get in woodies that is so urgent ??????? #woodies #IrelandPhase1 pic.twitter.com/TWzYu7lASv

— E daí? (@TiaKaaah) May 18, 2020

Barriers were erected outside stores yesterday in anticipation of the queues of people that would descend, weeks of pent-up DIY projects bubbling inside them. Just think of the paint they’d be able to buy, the hedge clippers, the barbecue accessories: all those things that would be the key to the perfect isolation life that they had been missing out on. Just like the golden era of Oxegen, this was truly an experience worth queuing for.

Today’s the day #woodies #Phase1 pic.twitter.com/X6Bj3o6ctr

— Fadapage (@fadapage) May 18, 2020

Westlife must be playing in Woodies tomorrow pic.twitter.com/sQuazw85Et

— Paul Of The Bohs (@Irish_Gas) May 17, 2020

Sure enough, some images and reports of queues outside stores have emerged, but for every person that made their way to Woodies this morning, there were at least three who had a hot take on the fact that they dared to do so.

Just like those who complain about the ‘young people’ at every festival — too many, too loud, too drunk — so too have the complaints rolled in about Woodies attendees. What do they need in Woodies anyway? Have they nothing better to do? I wouldn’t have any interest in that sort of thing. Much more enjoyable, however, have been the jokes arising online.

Woodie's just released the line up for tomorrow lads and it's banging pic.twitter.com/aWTfIFI6Ur

— Cher Horrorwitz (@ParamitePies) May 17, 2020

Twitter user @ParamitePies riffed on the festival-like queues for the hardware store with this hilarious ‘lineup’, featuring some excellent DIY puns, as well as a few of lockdown’s greatest hits, including Zoom quizzes and sourdough starter. If this was actually what we’d find through the doors of Woodies, I’d already be in the queue.

Things returning, in order of importance pic.twitter.com/rJ4s4FrmYK

— Viriconia (@Viriconia) May 17, 2020

This screenshot from @Viriconia also made us chuckle, with not even Jesus Christ himself getting as much attention as Woodies’ reopening. If that’s not something the listeners of Joe Duffy will want to complain about, I’m not sure what is.

The queue for #Woodies in Lucan this morning was absolutely disgraceful. pic.twitter.com/yrPzBPCwHc

— Ben Kiely (@TheJivemaster) May 18, 2020

There were plenty of people ready to poke fun at those who were queuing up to buy DIY supplies, but in the multi-layered world of the internet, there were of course people also poking fun at those people.

BEFORE AND AFTER: on the left the paint we bought the day before Woodies closed and (right) the same paint the day before Woodies re-opens.Really brightened the place up. Not all heroes wear capes. pic.twitter.com/1RpQXJn5hx

— Frank Coughlan (@fmcomment) May 17, 2020

And hilariously, Frank Coughlan reminded us all that although buying the DIY supplies is an important first step, it is no guarantee of actually completing the DIY projects.

Perhaps the Irish have a deep-rooted love for home projects, perhaps we just love to complain, or perhaps lockdown has just lowered our threshold for what’s considered interesting, but Woodies has certainly been the subject on everyone’s mind. At least if we can’t have our festivals this summer, the Woodies hype is letting us reminisce.

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