Westlife are back and we are flying without wings

It’s time to dust off the high stools because Westlife are back. It has been confirmed that the beloved Irish foursome has signed a deal with Universal for a reunion tour, and quite possibly some new ballads. The reunion news was announced yesterday with a frenzy of female screams heard from the tip of Donegal all the way to Waterford. Rumours are circulating that marriages ended unceremoniously in Carlow because the women “just couldn’t take it”, with many more already camping outside Croke Park “to get a good spot” for tour dates which haven’t even been announced yet. And sales of white suits have increased across the country overnight as the breaking news story unfolded.

Sadly, Brian McFadden won’t be joining this particular comeback, but we have been through that heartbreak before and came out on the other side stronger Westlife fans because of it. Us Irish are strong and brazen. We have survived a famine, so we can survive that.

Rumours are circulating today that Ed Sheeran has secretly co-written their comeback song, in an effort to help replicate their noughties success. An Irish baby boom is due to occur in conjunction with the release of the new single.

It’s hard to believe it has been six solid years since we have last heard Shane tell us to “swear it again” or to have seen the sweet face of Nicky give us a sexy side eye into the camera lens, but it has. The world is a different place now. The boyband resurgence that came with JLS and One Direction ended in heartbreak and spilt, and since then, no group has come to reclaim the gap in the market. The equilibrium is off, and with so much misery in the world, we need boybands.

We wanted to grow old with Westlife, to have our seasons in the sun because that love was unbreakable.

We had a world of our own.

This Westlife reunion is the resurgence we longed for. Everyone deserves a group of four handsome men to tell us “bop bop baby please don’t let me go”, because if three lads from Sligo and a Dublin heartbreaker won’t, then who will?