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Image / Editorial

Ship Your Enemies Glitter

by Bill O'Sullivan
14th Jan 2015

Who doesn’t love glitter? We mean, what’s there to dislike about it? It’s so… sparkly! Wait, what do you mean we have to clean it up? That wasn’t mentioned on the packet. Christ, who created this monstrosity of a substance!? It’s a plague, a damn plague!

We’ve all been there. It seemed like such a good idea at the start, but now the party’s over and your friends have left you to deal with the glittery aftermath. How could they? We need to get revenge! But how?

Ship Your Enemies Glitter is here to help. No really, it’s an actual website that promises to deliver an envelope loaded with the sparkly, satanic substance to whoever you want. Be it frenemy or enemy. For a mere €7 (9.99AUD) the somewhat sweary folk at Ship Your Enemies Glitter will surprise your chosen victim not only with a package full of ?craft herpes? as they call it, but they’ll also include a personalised letter explaining why they have been targeted. Genius!

The site has gained such popularity over the last 24 hours or so that they’ve had to temporarily suspend all purchases, leaving a message that reads; “You guys have a sick fascination with shipping people glitter.” However, the service is expected to be up and running again shortly.

Now where does that ex live again?