Sustainable Irish sleepwear brands to help you catch some zs
Sustainable Irish sleepwear brands to help you catch some zs

Sarah Finnan

Andrew McGinley: ‘I cannot forgive the act of murder. I can’t forgive how my children died’
Andrew McGinley: ‘I cannot forgive the act of murder. I can’t forgive how my children...

Amanda Cassidy

What actually consitutes self-care when you’re a mother
What actually consitutes self-care when you’re a mother

Sophie White

The expert guide to your hair problems, from thinning hair to heat damage
The expert guide to your hair problems, from thinning hair to heat damage

Melanie Morris

Best hotel restaurants: 16 places to add to your Irish staycation bucket list
Best hotel restaurants: 16 places to add to your Irish staycation bucket list

Sarah Finnan

Here’s how you can manage symptoms of work anxiety
Here’s how you can manage symptoms of work anxiety

Jennifer McShane

Step straight onto the sand with these 5 Irish hotels on the beach
Step straight onto the sand with these 5 Irish hotels on the beach

Megan Burns

5 inspiring self-help books that will change your life
5 inspiring self-help books that will change your life

Jennifer McShane

Jamie Lee Curtis shows every parent how to handle their child transitioning
Jamie Lee Curtis shows every parent how to handle their child transitioning

Jennifer McShane

Toxic relationships: ‘Why walking away from my mum was the best thing I could have done’
Toxic relationships: ‘Why walking away from my mum was the best thing I could have...

Amanda Cassidy

Image / Editorial

I’m afraid I won’t cry when I leave Dublin


by Brenna O'Donnell
26th Apr 2018
blank

I’m afraid I won’t cry when I leave Dublin. It’s a strange fear to have, but with 11 days left before my flight home to New York, I think about it each dwindling day. I adore all of my roommates (reference past article What living with five girls has taught me about female friendship and horribly cheap wine”). To the point where we don’t even like to confront the prospect of our time together coming to an end. 

And yet, moving has always been second nature to me. My parents were in the US Foreign Service, so my rap sheet of homes include California, Italy, Connecticut, Zambia, Washington DC and more. I’ve never even spent more than three years at one school. So basically, I fear I’ve become so desensitized to huge moves, that it no longer has an effect on me. Worst case scenario with leaving Dublin? That my roommates will all be standing in our doorway crying, and I will be there with a straight face.

I promise I’m not heartless. Saying goodbye has become as easy and inevitable as exhaling. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to live in one place. Many people have a dream of settling down in their one perfect location. I don’t even have a hometown. I hate the seemingly innocuous question of “Where are you from?” I’ll never have a solid answer. I’ll even change the response depending on the context of the conversation and who I’m talking to. If I’m in Connecticut, I’ll say I’m from Virginia. If I’m abroad, I’ll say I’m from New York. So on and so forth.

The worst part of moving so much is not having years upon years of close friendship. I have friends scattered throughout the world, but the fact that I don’t seem them every day hurts. When I see them we’re always meeting up in the middle, visiting when we’re in each others’ towns, but I can never just walk home after a night at their house, or go out with them every night.

It’s not only the people I miss. Saying goodbye to homes is sometimes harder than saying goodbye to people. You can’t send a house an “I miss you!” text or visit it when you’re back in the area. One day the kitchen you used to sit with tea, laugh over meals, and fall into drunk is full of cardboard boxes, and that’s the last time you see it.

But I’ve learned that goodbye isn’t always a sad thing. I view it as a fresh start. I get excited about change because my upbringing has made me so adaptable. So while it’ll be hard to say goodbye, I know that once I touch down it’s only the beginning of the next chapter.

My lovely roommates and I – St. Patricks Day Festival, Dublin 2018

Also Read

blank
EDITORIAL
Chrissy Teigen’s past trolling tweets highlight the slut-shaming culture we tolerated

Chrissy Teigen is the queen of oversharing. Usually it’s in good humour, self-deprecating and irreverent. She doesn’t take herself too...

By Amanda Cassidy

blank
EDITORIAL
‘Suddenly alive again’: The heartbreaking joy of finding a deceased loved one on Google Maps street view

“I look at my mum’s old house on Google maps street view, the house where I grew up. It says...

By Amanda Cassidy

blank
AGENDA, EDITORIAL
TV presenter Kate Garraway says husband Derek is still “devastated by Covid”

Kate Garraway’s devastating Covid story is a reminder of why we must keep each other in mind as an invisible...

By Jennifer McShane

rings
EDITORIAL
Rings that help you draw attention to your newly manicured nails

Rings to help you flaunt your fresh mani? Non-negotiables. Nail salons reopened their doors to the public earlier this week...

By Sarah Finnan

blank
EDITORIAL
Emerging after the pandemic: ‘There’s an awkwardness to my interactions, like I’ve forgotten how to socialise’

In just a few months, human contact became one of the most feared gestures. Being around people we loved was...

By Amanda Cassidy

Keith-_-Tara_130_Web Shantanu Starick painting kitchen cabinets
EDITORIAL
How to limit drips and brush strokes while painting kitchen cabinets

Painting kitchen cabinets can be transformative and can be achieved relatively low-cost, but you need the right equipment, and a lot of...

By Amanda Kavanagh

blank
EDITORIAL
I’ve been ugly and beautiful and the difference is depressing

When I was 12 I wrote a story about two girls who were best friends. One girl, the main character,...

By Sophie White