These 4 key products will save your dry skin this winter
These 4 key products will save your dry skin this winter

Jennifer McShane

Toastie of the town: 9 of the best, meltiest cheese toasties in Dublin
Toastie of the town: 9 of the best, meltiest cheese toasties in Dublin

Ali Dunworth

How to create an eco-friendly winter flower arrangement (that doesn’t look dead)
How to create an eco-friendly winter flower arrangement (that doesn’t look dead)

Lauren Heskin

The trailer for Paul Mescal’s new movie with Olivia Colman is here and it looks creepy good
The trailer for Paul Mescal’s new movie with Olivia Colman is here and it looks...

Lauren Heskin

‘I was raised by a single mam. Everything that she did was for us’: Singer Soulé on who inspired her new music
‘I was raised by a single mam. Everything that she did was for us’: Singer...

Sarah Finnan

3 old cottages that are brimming with potential for under €100,000
3 old cottages that are brimming with potential for under €100,000

Megan Burns

8 things no one told me about the first trimester
8 things no one told me about the first trimester

Lauren Heskin

The Budget contraception scheme still holds women in Ireland responsible for safe sex
The Budget contraception scheme still holds women in Ireland responsible for safe sex

Kate Demolder

‘Romy & Michele’ actress Cortney Wolfston on being fired while pregnant
‘Romy & Michele’ actress Cortney Wolfston on being fired while pregnant

Sarah Finnan

Ireland’s best autumnal forest walks
Ireland’s best autumnal forest walks

Sarah Finnan

Image / Editorial

Everything I learned in the first year of a relationship


by Edaein OConnell
27th Nov 2018
Everything I learned in the first year of a relationship

It’s a good kick in the ass when you realise that a relationship is not a rolling montage of affection and flowers. Pre-conceived notions of love are thrown out of the window early on, usually the first time one of you first farts. You look at each other differently from that point.

For me, discovering myself in a relationship proved difficult. Slotting into the ease of coupledom was not my forte. I struggled to extract myself from the single life I had grown accustomed to. Trying to understand that there was this other person that cared, would not register in my brain. It took me months to understand the concept of the ‘got home safe’ text.

But I grew and I learned.

I learned that time management was redundant. Hours were minutes and minutes were seconds. Before the relationship, I had time to meet friends and look at the birds. Before the boyfriend, I was out on the tiles every weekend. My only stable relationship was with my chicken burger at the end of the night. It was good, and I loved it. But times change and so do you. Life became different, good different.

After a certain point, the mask came down and my true self-emerged. Bra whipped off, Sudocream on my face and hair like a birds nest. It’s hard for women to let that guard down. To show a person the uncovered and raw version of yourself is a big step.

The start of my relationship was like a hibernation. We both consumed food like some eternal winter was on its way. Our lives revolved around breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, supper and five snacks. God knows where we found the time to talk because we were both too busy stuffing our faces with cheese. My relationship foundation was built upon McDonald’s and the trusty caramel sundae (RIP), and dining continues to be at the epicenter of our connection.

In the first year you learn that differences in interests, hobbies and even food will not determine your relationships fate. Morals and humour are the backbones of partnerships. I have, unashamedly, peed a little while laughing at and with him. He seems to get a good kick out of me too, making our interactions all the more joyful. Even though we eat constantly, he is a notoriously picky eater- I am not. He hates sauces, and I love them, so much so that I have been known to eat ketchup with a fork. Naturally, he is disgusted. But these details are inconsequential. If he won’t eat the sauce, I will.

In the first year, you live in a constant fear of pregnancy. You think that if you glance at him, it may make you pregnant. You cough and you think “Yes that’s it, that’s pregnancy”. Birth control, bar, the coil – it does not matter. The fear will find its way to you, and you will ring your friend in a panic, crying that there has been a conception. The friend will tell you that there obviously has not, but this is your first proper relationship, you’re 23, nervous and naïve to the ways of the world.

They say your twenties are selfish years. Think and do for yourself. Don’t tie yourself down. Travel with no shoes and just a toothbrush and discover the real world. It seemed the universe was telling me to remain single. I had found romance at the wrong age and stage of my life, because being alone suits youth. I felt envious of my friends, going on holidays and spontaneous nights out when I was eating chips with him.

But, I learned that balance is key. This whole new person plopped themselves in a space in my life that I didn’t know was there. I snort and laugh and smile every day. I feel fuzzy, content and calm. He continues to give me strange looks as I eat ketchup with a fork, but I would never want it to change.

Here’s to year two.

Also Read

Everything I learned in the first year of a relationship
premium EDITORIAL
Business Club members get your complimentary tickets to The IMAGE Business Summit 2021

Don’t miss this year’s IMAGE Business Summit, with an expert line-up, skills masterclasses, keynote addresses and more.Back by popular demand,...

By Shayna Sappington

Everything I learned in the first year of a relationship
EDITORIAL
This spatchcock chicken recipe will make your weekend

This is a great way to get a juicy roast chicken, bursting with flavour.     Bord Bia’s Spatchcock Chicken...

By Meg Walker

Everything I learned in the first year of a relationship
EDITORIAL
How to limit drips and brush strokes while painting kitchen cabinets

Painting kitchen cabinets can be transformative and can be achieved relatively low-cost, but you need the right equipment, and a lot of...

By Amanda Kavanagh

Everything I learned in the first year of a relationship
EDITORIAL
‘Romy & Michele’ actress Cortney Wolfston on being fired while pregnant

“I was confused. Hadn’t I just been told this was a perfect time to be pregnant?” she questioned. Actress Cortney...

By Sarah Finnan

Everything I learned in the first year of a relationship
EDITORIAL
How to let go of toxic people, and the signs to recognise

By Niamh Ennis

Everything I learned in the first year of a relationship
EDITORIAL
Mandy Moore climbed an active volcano at dawn… while pumping

Hiking a mountain and breast pumping – now, that’s what we call multitasking at its finest. Mandy Moore enjoyed an...

By Sarah Finnan

Everything I learned in the first year of a relationship
EDITORIAL
Trinity Tales: ‘Front Square was her garden, and the city was her playground’

Annie Gatling, now Colleran, knew Trinity College was for her when she saw Front Gate from the top storey of...

By Amanda Cassidy