EL James Demands to Pen Next Fifty Shades Script

Looks like the producers of Fifty Shades‘ headache will continue long after the first installment hits the silver screen. Regardless of how utterly crap it is (although admittedly we rather enjoyed it), it’s made a BOMB at the box office; seems we just can’t get enough of quotes like ‘if you were mine you wouldn’t be able to walk for a week’ and other such gems.

As per Variety, the books’ writer, EL James, has decided she wants more input on the script for the next two movies. In fact she doesn’t just want more input, she wants to do away with the screenwriters entirely and has demanded she pens the flicks herself (something she’s never turned her hand to before). Rumour has it she’s even sent director?Sam Taylor Johnson packing. Can you imagine? As per her contract, EL James will retain complete creative control over the whole process. Whether you quietly enjoyed it or loathed it entirely, the one thing we can all agree on is that the book’s writing is some of the worst we’ve ever read. So whatever slick touches Sam Taylor Johnson may have added to this first movie are about to be washed away for installment two and three. But which new director will be handed this poison chalice?

In a guilty pleasure sort of way, however, we’re quite excited to learn that the dialogue will get a whole lot worse, imagining Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson wincing through every explicit syllable and every contortionist sex scene. How bad will it get before they decide to chuck in the towel? Not only can you expect terrible writing, you can also look forward to things getting a whole lot steamier. EL James found the first movie to be a bit too safe; she wanted more and more sex scenes and as has been widely reported, came to blows on several occasions with the film’s female director. Whoever comes on board now, must be prepared to suffer her erotic (eww) wrath.

Maybe though, if we stop aligning the Fifty Shades movies with other more award-worthy fare, and start considering it alongside the likes of Sharknado and Twilight, we’ll be pleasantly surprised by its cinematic flair.

Maybe, no?

@CarolineForan