Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey are in Ireland – and of course, there’s a Jedward connection
Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey are in Ireland – and of course, there’s a Jedward...

Sarah Finnan

Extra chewing gum vibes off Harry Style’s ‘Watermelon Sugar’ in their post-Covid ad dedicated to touching
Extra chewing gum vibes off Harry Style’s ‘Watermelon Sugar’ in their post-Covid ad dedicated to...

Sarah Finnan

The step-by-step guide to laying a chic summer tablescape
The step-by-step guide to laying a chic summer tablescape

Holly O'Neill

According to science, there is one way to upgrade your biscuit break
According to science, there is one way to upgrade your biscuit break

Shayna Sappington

5 mobile apps to help you save money now
5 mobile apps to help you save money now

IMAGE

Here’s exactly what to look for in your eye cream depending on your issue
Here’s exactly what to look for in your eye cream depending on your issue

Melanie Morris

7 new must-sees we can’t wait to watch this year
7 new must-sees we can’t wait to watch this year

Jennifer McShane

Image / Editorial

Bob Geldof’s words on the ‘infinite, ever present’ stages of grief are important


by Jennifer McShane
02nd Mar 2020
blank

In an interview at the weekend, singer and activist Bob Geldof opened up about the untimely death of his daughter Peaches and shared his thoughts on the grieving process  


To grieve is a deeply personal, painful process. There is no straight path when it comes to grief; it ebbs and flows as it will. Sometimes you expect it and other times it can come from anywhere, this onslaught: reading a book, hearing a song or a turn of phrase which lingers on the edge of the mind.

It’s this heartbreak that Boomtown Rats singer Bob Geldof knows all too well, having lost his daughter Peaches in 2014 to an accidental drug overdose. She was only 25-years-old at the time of her death and left behind two young children.

Tragically, her mother, TV presenter Paula Yates, died the same way in 2000 at the age of 41, when Peaches was just 11-years-old.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Peaches_Geldof_Memories (@peaches_geldof_memories) on


Speaking on the Tommy Tiernan Show on Saturday, he said the heartbreak he has felt over losing his daughter he says “doesn’t heal.” Time may accommodate it, but it remains “ever present.”

Related: Dealing with grief: ‘One day he went to work and never came home’

“You’re driving along and you’re at the traffic lights and for no reason whatsoever the person in question inhabits you,” he said.

“The grief and the abyss is infinite”

“And I’ll cry and then I’ll look around to make sure the people around don’t see me or are posting a photo or whatever – but that happens and that happens to everyone. And so you say, ‘OK, it’s time to cry now.’”

 “You just do it, you cry to the maximum and then you go, the grief is bottomless and intimate. I didn’t understand why I lost everything I thought to be true”

“Once you understand the nature of this because it is boundless and it is bottomless. The grief and the abyss is infinite.”

Related: ‘I didn’t ask for this’: Why do we feel the need to judge how others grieve? 

We don’t often hear about grief in this way; its constant presence in our lives. Geldof’s comments emphasise what we all know and often never say – the grieving “process” often has no time limit. There’s no one way to handle such a complex set of emotions – your process is your own – and speaking out about this is as important as seeking the help you might need, or crying when you feel it is time to.

“This thing of being forever 25, in my head, that’s unbearable, simply because of that cliché – you’re not supposed to see your children die,” he said previously, adding that his daughter has never truly left him.

“But she is the one who is with me every second of the day and she is the one who bangs into my consciousness at any moment, especially in any down moment… where I’m not doing something. She’s very present.”

Also Read

blank
EDITORIAL
Vaccine envy: ‘Why a year of Covid has brought out the begrudgers’

By Amanda Cassidy

blank
EDITORIAL
“You’re weird Mammy… other mothers iron”: Author Elske Rahill on writing and motherhood

“Every baby costs you a book” – that’s something women...

By IMAGE

blank
EDITORIAL
Is marketplace feminism stealing the limelight from real female-driven issues?

‘Femertising’ is big business. Brands are increasingly taking advantage of...

By Amanda Cassidy

blank
EDITORIAL
There is something uncomfortable about Kate Garraway sharing her husband’s desperate Covid texts

We are used to celebrities oversharing their lives. But sharing...

By Amanda Cassidy

shells cafe
EDITORIAL
A Sligo cottage is transformed into a cool and cosy surfers’ haven

Still one of our favourite homes ever, the easy-breezy interiors...

By IMAGE Interiors & Living

Women with MS who take medication, especially immunosuppressants, cannot become pregnant unless they come off medication.
premium HEALTH & WELLNESS, REAL-LIFE STORIES
I had to weigh up the possibility of losing my mind against losing my future children

Holograms of the children she may never have dance across Dearbhla Crosses' mind as an MS diagnosis and Covid-19 are unwelcome reminders of her biological clock ticking.

By Dearbhla Crosse

blank
EDITORIAL
Laura Whitmore’s baby name retaliation is about so much more than double standards

The Love Island presenter has divided social media after she...

By Amanda Cassidy