A beginner’s guide to journaling: Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the self-care ritual
A beginner’s guide to journaling: Everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the self-care ritual

Sarah Finnan

Emma Thompson is embracing her naked body, and her poignant comments might just inspire you to do the same
Emma Thompson is embracing her naked body, and her poignant comments might just inspire you...

Sarah Gill

Travis Barker’s house is… surprisingly tasteful?
Travis Barker’s house is… surprisingly tasteful?

Megan Burns

‘Before having a baby, I was a woman who knew her children would be screen-free’
‘Before having a baby, I was a woman who knew her children would be screen-free’

Dominique McMullan

Ireland is on alert as rare virus spreads across Europe — but what exactly is monkeypox?
Ireland is on alert as rare virus spreads across Europe — but what exactly is...

Sarah Gill

A light-filled extension has opened up this mid-terrace Dublin 6 home
A light-filled extension has opened up this mid-terrace Dublin 6 home

Megan Burns

This newly-renovated family home with lots of garden space is on the market for €312,500
This newly-renovated family home with lots of garden space is on the market for €312,500

Sarah Finnan

Life Hacks: Three top TikTok tips to make your home smell incredible
Life Hacks: Three top TikTok tips to make your home smell incredible

Sarah Gill

The Great Getaway: 9 things to put on your Belfast bucket list 
The Great Getaway: 9 things to put on your Belfast bucket list 

Sarah Finnan

Why we should all be swimming in the Irish seas this summer
Why we should all be swimming in the Irish seas this summer

Freya Drohan

Image / Editorial

Bob Geldof’s words on the ‘infinite, ever present’ stages of grief are important


By Jennifer McShane
02nd Mar 2020
Bob Geldof’s words on the ‘infinite, ever present’ stages of grief are important

In an interview at the weekend, singer and activist Bob Geldof opened up about the untimely death of his daughter Peaches and shared his thoughts on the grieving process  


To grieve is a deeply personal, painful process. There is no straight path when it comes to grief; it ebbs and flows as it will. Sometimes you expect it and other times it can come from anywhere, this onslaught: reading a book, hearing a song or a turn of phrase which lingers on the edge of the mind.

It’s this heartbreak that Boomtown Rats singer Bob Geldof knows all too well, having lost his daughter Peaches in 2014 to an accidental drug overdose. She was only 25-years-old at the time of her death and left behind two young children.

Tragically, her mother, TV presenter Paula Yates, died the same way in 2000 at the age of 41, when Peaches was just 11-years-old.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Peaches_Geldof_Memories (@peaches_geldof_memories) on


Speaking on the Tommy Tiernan Show on Saturday, he said the heartbreak he has felt over losing his daughter he says “doesn’t heal.” Time may accommodate it, but it remains “ever present.”

Related: Dealing with grief: ‘One day he went to work and never came home’

“You’re driving along and you’re at the traffic lights and for no reason whatsoever the person in question inhabits you,” he said.

“The grief and the abyss is infinite”

“And I’ll cry and then I’ll look around to make sure the people around don’t see me or are posting a photo or whatever – but that happens and that happens to everyone. And so you say, ‘OK, it’s time to cry now.’”

 “You just do it, you cry to the maximum and then you go, the grief is bottomless and intimate. I didn’t understand why I lost everything I thought to be true”

“Once you understand the nature of this because it is boundless and it is bottomless. The grief and the abyss is infinite.”

Related: ‘I didn’t ask for this’: Why do we feel the need to judge how others grieve? 

We don’t often hear about grief in this way; its constant presence in our lives. Geldof’s comments emphasise what we all know and often never say – the grieving “process” often has no time limit. There’s no one way to handle such a complex set of emotions – your process is your own – and speaking out about this is as important as seeking the help you might need, or crying when you feel it is time to.

“This thing of being forever 25, in my head, that’s unbearable, simply because of that cliché – you’re not supposed to see your children die,” he said previously, adding that his daughter has never truly left him.

“But she is the one who is with me every second of the day and she is the one who bangs into my consciousness at any moment, especially in any down moment… where I’m not doing something. She’s very present.”