This leaked audio of Tom Cruise going berserk over a COVID breach is all of our mothers

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to not stand so close together. Amanda Cassidy on why the latest Mission: Impossible film set is far from easy cruising…

This week beloved couch-hopper and otherworld admirer Tom Cruise erupted on the set of his latest movie, Mission: Impossible 7. He was raging after catching crew members breaking coronavirus protocol.

It is a two and a half minute rant that reminds you fully of your mother when you’ve done something wrong.

There is the “I’m disappointed” theme, the “we all have a responsibility” scéal, the “we trusted you” finger-wagging. All topped off with the “Am I clear? Am I?”

(To be clear, that is NEVER a question to be answered back)

There’s the good mammy, bad mammy routine buried within too. And at the finale, you will find the I-love-you-but-you’ll-need-to-cop-on part that we all dread hearing.

Blowing his top gun

To be fair, the filming of this production has been hailed as an example for Hollywood on how to navigate the industry while living through a global pandemic. This is why Cruise, who returns as Ethan Hunt, got so angry.

The movie was delayed going into production earlier this year because of Covid. It eventually kicked off but was stopped again in October after 12 people on set tested positive for the virus.

Now Cruise, who is also a producer on the movie franchise, is determined that filming won’t be disrupted again. The Sun received leaked audio of his latest rant after he spotted crew members not physically distancing.

The entire transcript (below) may bring to mind your mammy warning you of the importance of being responsible during COVID times.

“We want the gold standard. They’re back there in Hollywood making movies right now because of us! Because they believe in us and what we’re doing! I’m on the phone with every f***ing studio at night, insurance companies, producers, and they’re looking at us and using us to make their movies.

We are creating thousands of jobs you motherf***ers. I don’t ever want to see it again, ever! And if you don’t do it you’re fired, if I see you do it again you’re f***ing gone. And if anyone on this crew does it – that’s it, and you too and you too. And you, don’t you ever f***ing do it again. That’s it!

No apologies. You can tell it to the people that are losing their f***ing homes because our industry is shut down. It’s not going to put food on their table or pay for their college education. That’s what I sleep with every night. The future of this f***ing industry! So I’m sorry I am beyond your apologies. I have told you and now I want it and if you don’t do it you’re out. We are not shutting this f***ing movie down!

Reasonable

The rant continues…

“Is it understood? If I see it again you’re f***ing gone — and so are you — so you’re going to cost him his job, if I see it on the set you’re gone and you’re gone. That’s it. Am I clear? Do you understand what I want? Do you understand the responsibility that you have? Because I will deal with your reason. And if you can’t be reasonable and I can’t deal with your logic, you’re fired. That’s it. That is it.

I trust you guys to be here. That’s it. That’s it guys. Have a little think about it.?.?.[inaudible]. That’s what I think of Universal and Paramount. Warner Brothers. Movies are going because of us. If we shut down it’s going to cost people f***ing jobs, their home, their family. That’s what’s happening. All the way down the line. And I care about you guys, but if you’re not going to help me you’re gone. OK?

Do you see that stick? How many metres is that? When people are standing around a f***ing computer and hanging out around here, what are you doing? And if they don’t comply then send their names to Matt Spooner. That’s it.”

That’s it so guys. Cop on. Tom says so. Listen to your mammy.

Image via Mission Impossible