When it comes to making decisions, high-functioning women are incredibly good at avoiding discomfort while still looking productive, writes Niamh Ennis.
You can be doing a lot and still not be moving forward. Your calendar is full, the to-do list is never-ending, and there’s always something to respond to, fix, plan, or move forward. And yet, underneath all of that activity, there’s a quiet sense that things aren’t really changing; at least not in the way you want or need them to. The truth is that, more often than not, the real issue here isn’t time. What’s blocking you isn’t a lack of ideas, effort, or capability. It is, in fact, the decision that you keep putting off.
Most of the businesswomen I work with aren’t stuck because they don’t know what to do. They’re stuck because they’re not acting on what they already know. It shows up in ways that are easy to justify – staying with a client who no longer feels aligned because letting them go feels uncomfortable, holding your prices where they are even though they no longer reflect the value of your work, remaining in a role you’ve outgrown because it feels safer than stepping into something new, or delaying a move or a launch while you wait to feel more certain. On the surface, these all look like thoughtful decisions, sensible pauses, or being “strategic”, but sometimes they’re hesitation dressed up as logic.
We tell ourselves that we’re still figuring things out, that we need more information, but the reality is, most of the time, the decision has already been made. If you think about it, you feel it in the hesitation, in the way your mind keeps returning to the same thought, in that low-level frustration that never seems to go away; the niggle! The decision you keep revisiting is usually the one you’ve already made – you just haven’t acted on it yet. So why don’t we act?
At the risk of oversimplifying it, it’s because capable, high-functioning women are incredibly good at avoiding discomfort while still looking productive. We research more, gather opinions, tweak and refine, tell ourselves we’re being thorough, strategic and considered. But often, we’re just buying time; waiting for the moment when the decision feels clear, easy, and risk-free. And that moment rarely comes.
Avoidance doesn’t always look like procrastination. In fact, it often looks like progress. You might find yourself updating your website instead of making the offer, refining your messaging instead of having the conversation, or planning the next step instead of taking the current one. It all feels like movement but none of it replaces the decision itself.
This is the part that’s often overlooked: avoiding the decision doesn’t keep things the same – it actually quietly makes them worse. Every single delayed decision has a cost. It costs you time, because you stay in something longer than you need to. It costs you energy because unresolved decisions take up mental space. It impacts how you show up, because misalignment is hard to hide. And it slows your momentum, because progress depends on movement, not contemplation.
The longer you carry a decision, the heavier it feels. Not because it’s getting harder, but because you’ve been holding it for too long. Over time, something else starts to happen. You begin to trust yourself less. You second-guess your instincts. You look outward for reassurance instead of inward for direction. And that quiet erosion of self-trust has a far greater impact than any one decision ever could. Because growth, in business and in your career, isn’t just built on strategy – it also built on self-trust.
So what does it look like to change this in a real, practical way? It starts with asking a better question. Instead of “What’s the right decision?”, ask yourself: What decision am I avoiding? Because that’s usually where the real answer is. Then take it one step further: if nothing changed, would you still be here in six months? That question cuts through the noise. It removes the “maybe” and brings you back to what you already know.
Finally, what would this look like if you trusted yourself? Not if you had more proof or more certainty, but if you really trusted your own judgment. Because the truth is, most of the decisions you’re delaying don’t require more information. They just require courage.
This isn’t about forcing change or making impulsive moves. It’s about recognising when the delay is no longer serving you; when “taking your time” has quietly become staying stuck and admitting that the next best step is less about figuring it out and more about following through!
The women who move forward aren’t the ones who always feel ready. They’re the ones who decide, and then back themselves. Even when it feels uncomfortable, or when the timing isn’t perfect, or when there’s a risk that it might not work out exactly as planned. Because they understand something very important: clarity doesn’t always come before the decision; sometimes, it comes because of it.
If there’s a decision you’ve been sitting with for a while now, the one that keeps coming back, the one you can’t quite ignore – there’s a good chance you already know what to do. My only remaining question for you now is just how much longer are you willing to wait?
Niamh Ennis is a business mentor and founder of The ChangeMakers Mastermind. She specialises in helping women grow sustainable, aligned businesses with clarity and confidence. Niamh is also the Lead Coach for the IMAGE Business Club. If you’re ready to grow your business with more strategy, focus, and ease, the waiting list for The ChangeMakers Mastermind is now open here.
Also Read
