08th May 2020
Some of us are shopping more and some of us are shopping less. This IMAGE writer is in the latter group but was not immune to a random Amazon splurge
The pandemic has brought me a blessing.
I am buying less in general. There’s nowhere to go and spare change is being rigorously saved instead of being spent.
However, I am only human and am not immune to the call of an online shop. The pandemic has brought boredom, and boredom can lead to browsing on Amazon which can lead to purchases.
I hate myself for these three (soon to be four) purchases I made. It’s consumerism at work along with its bosom buddy capitalism. It’s influencers and people I don’t know on TikTok. It’s my friends and family who have bought one of the below and glorified the usage of the item.
It’s Jeff Bezos.
And it’s not just me. My brother is a postman and he said his office can’t handle the slew of packages arriving. It has got so bad that they have started to store them outside. There is no other option.
Shopping is a psychological game that we play after dark. From experience, Amazon purchases happen after midnight. Usually, you want to focus on anything other than the horrors of the world and you will focus on anything else.
Is it boredom? Is it fear? Is it wanting to feel some sort of normality?
It is dependent on the individual. People buy for different reasons. Mine were a mix of searching for stability, a calming night light and something nice to drink out of.
However, for further insights into the why, read below.
Law of Attraction Life Planner
Deluxe Law of Attraction planner, approx €10
In times of unrest, I buy planners. Journals, diaries, notebooks that say “You Can Do It!” and any other item of stationery that helps me to keep calm. During this pandemic, I have needed this false stability more than ever. So I bought this law of attraction planner for €10. This promises to solve all of my most grievous faults and any problems created solely in my head. It has over 4,000 ratings on Amazon, with the final tally being just over four stars. This means 4,000 people in this world believe this offspring of cut-down trees to work. It’s been a week and the journal has still not manifested Niall Horan in my bedroom.
I wait in hope.
BlissLights Sky Lite
BlissLights Sky Lite, approx €79
You may call this gaudy but I call it art. It is without a doubt one of the best purhcases I have made. When I put this contraption on, I am Neil Armstrong on the moon. I am in Iceland about to see the Northern Lights. I am a dreamer, a thinker. I am Galileo. I am at one with the world. I am easily influenced by young people on TikTok.
I am a shopaholic.
Metal straws and a mason jar
H&S 8 Metal Straws, €5.70
Mason drinking jar glasses, €8
Everyone who is anyone on Instagram or TikTok drinks their smoothies and iced-coffees out of a mason jar with a metal straw. My iced coffee was drunk out of tumbler glasses and my smoothies consumed straight from the blender. I felt like a peasant. A bumpkin of the refreshment utensils world. The wannabe environmentalist in me is proud of my straw choice and everything tastes better out of a straw anyway.
Well, that’s what I told myself as I pressed ‘add to basket’ at 2am while lying on my bed.
Cocktail Making Set
Cocktail making set, €36
I have not bought this yet, but every video I see of Stanley Tucci seductively making a cocktail, I inch ever closer. I dream of Zoom quiz nights, where I nonchalantly sip on a Whiskey Sour that I made myself. Or the moment when my mother streams yet another live mass on her iPad and I dramatically shout “I can’t deal with the hymns any longer mother, I’m making a Negroni!”
I then forcefully turn on my UGG slippers and swing my Penney’s dressing gown in defiance before logging back into Amazon.
Read more: 7 Netflix series worth binge-watching if you’re stuck inside
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