Have We Reached Peak Beard?

C’mon, lads. Admit it. Beards are over.

Get out the hedgetrimmers and power mowers.? Sharpen the razors. Man the halyards.? That is, if you’re a guy who fancies himself in any way fashionable. Beards are past their prime.

A few weeks ago, navigating the hairy swarms at Offset, we were powerfully struck by just how pedestrian they’ve become- no matter how bushy or pointy or foppish. B-o-r-i-n-g. Long gone are the days when they meant an automatic strip search at American airports or projected an aura of creativity. As Panti proclaimed on twitter today,? ?when every male in Tesco has one, it’s time.?

Comfort your nearest hipster. The timing couldn’t be better- if shorn soon, he’ll have plenty of time to assume the recovery position in a deck chair and expose his blanched undercarriage to a few rays so he doesn’t look like some strange sort of lemur. That’ll give the chin a good airing, too- and expunge those last vestiges of funky beardie-smell (too often a mixture of last night’s craft beer and kebab not that homely daddy-smokes-a-pipe and wears-an-Aran-jersey wallow).? There’s another added bonus: fresher-faced early un-adapters will be noticed. And wasn’t that the point?

@lgeorge353 is?willing to concede that a tache may be a good compromise (think Joaquin in?Her) if a thorough shearing is out of the question– a ballsy move, for sure.