Surrogacy: ‘As soon as I lay a foot on Irish soil I become a legal stranger to my son’
Surrogacy: ‘As soon as I lay a foot on Irish soil I become a legal...

Amanda Cassidy

Cuffing season is upon and singletons need to know what to look out for
Cuffing season is upon and singletons need to know what to look out for

Christina McLoughlin

Children are becoming less resilient and it is because of our parenting style
Children are becoming less resilient and it is because of our parenting style

Amanda Cassidy

These 4 Sofia Coppola films are the dreamy escapism we need right now
These 4 Sofia Coppola films are the dreamy escapism we need right now

Jennifer McShane

Am I supposed to feel joy over a PowerPoint presentation?
Am I supposed to feel joy over a PowerPoint presentation?

Esther O'Moore Donohoe

Nowstalgia: beauty’s most forward-thinking trend? Looking back
Nowstalgia: beauty’s most forward-thinking trend? Looking back

Holly O'Neill

Here’s how to maximise your annual leave in 2022
Here’s how to maximise your annual leave in 2022

Megan Burns

What’s coming to Netflix this November
What’s coming to Netflix this November

Lauren Heskin

The reality of being a single mother by choice: ‘I conceived my son with a sperm donor’
The reality of being a single mother by choice: ‘I conceived my son with a...

Amanda Cassidy

What you watch on TV says a LOT about your personality
What you watch on TV says a LOT about your personality

Amanda Cassidy

Image / Editorial

The seven emotional stages of watching Room to Improve


by Sophie White
01st Apr 2018
The seven emotional stages of watching Room to Improve

Sophie White reflects on the feelings vortex her weekly date with Room To Improve has become


I’m not sure if it’s a particular life stage that I’m at or if RTE is inserting some kind of undetectable mind control frames into the edit; but Room to Improve has become a borderline obsession in the last couple of years. So here are the seven stages of anguish and turmoil that the average Room To Improve viewing inspires. (Sidenote: This is not some #sponcon for Room to Improve – I really am this sad.)

Stage 1 – I’m definitely starting to fancy Dermot Bannon

Oh my god, it’s only the opening credits but I’m already weak for architect heartthrob, Dermot. Is fancying Dermot a sign that you’ve been watching too much Room To Improve? But then there’s no such thing as too much Room To Improve.

Stage 2 – It’s an art attack! AKA the weird little cartoon thingy of what the house is going to look like

This is the part of the show where Dermot reveals his amazing plan to create an interior atrium. The big reveal is really not necessary as the interior atrium has appeared in pretty much every episode of Room To Improve ever. By now the couple are exchanging inscrutable looks and you can pretty much count on some mutiny on their part after the ads.

Stage 3 – Time for the quantity surveyor to wreck EVERYONE’S buzz

So, it transpires that they thought that they had €230,000 for Dermot’s proposed design but actually they only have 50p and there’s no way they’ll stretch to the interior atrium. An interior atrium that Dermot is now for some baffling reason utterly, emotionally invested in. Did Dermot have an unrequited longing for an interior atrium in his formative years? “I wish Dermot cared about me as much as he cares about that atrium,” sighs the part of brain that is now picturing what Dermot would plan for our own light-filled extension after we jettison my pesky family and get married.

Stage 4 – Okay the fancying is slowly shifting to the builder now

Oh ho… how fickle my fancying is… I’ve transferred my affections to the builder now. He’d be a much better bet, much more practical in reality. Also, Dermot’s revealing himself to be quite an unyielding character by this point in the episode, all this couple want is white window frames on THEIR house and Dermot is heavy pushing some “Down Pipe Black” down their throats. Dermot back off, Mairead and Seamus are the ones who have to live with the bloody windows.

Stage 5 –Tea break: In which I fall into a pit of despair over the state of my house (tea break involves wading through the sea of toys, squished banana and rice cakes that actually serve as a carpeting solution in our house)

The ads give us Room to Improve viewers some quality time to reflect on what went so wrong in our lives that we don’t have a quarter of a mil to spend on a mezzanine office space with a concept staircase. Of course, this is nothing compared with the pain of engaging with Room To Improve for people living in rental accommodation who’s best hope at interior design is more light crafting than light-filled extension. Consider my privilege sufficiently checked.

Stage 6 – Checks Twitter to see what kind of furore is unfolding over there

There’s always something. “Don’t mention the dividing wall” is basically the new “Don’t mention the war” after one recent episode.

Stage 7 – Time for the creepiest party of ALL TIME

So the gang’s all back together. Wounds have healed and it feels like the box wine is helping Dermot get over his rage over the choice of window frame colour. But NO, right when we thought they’d reached a detente of sorts, he lobs in one final dig…”I’d-have-gone-with-the-darker-frames-much-more-contemporary,” he lobs this emotional grenade out there so quick that Mairead and Seamus don’t even have a chance to defend their decision (you know, the decision that they made about THEIR house).

And then he’s gone, he doffs his hard hat to the assembled rent-a-crowd guests, skulls a couple of cab savs for the road and flees like an impish waif over the back wall and into the night.

Also Read

The seven emotional stages of watching Room to Improve
EDITORIAL
Attending multiple weddings this year? How to save money as a guest

These days, going to a wedding is the equivalent of going on a short holiday in terms of cost. From...

By Jennifer McShane

The seven emotional stages of watching Room to Improve
EDITORIAL
Sarah Harding’s heartbroken mum announces the singer’s death aged just 39

Sarah Harding has died at the age of just 39, her heartbroken mother revealed today. The Girls Aloud star had...

By Amanda Cassidy

The seven emotional stages of watching Room to Improve
EDITORIAL
How to limit drips and brush strokes while painting kitchen cabinets

Painting kitchen cabinets can be transformative and can be achieved relatively low-cost, but you need the right equipment, and a lot of...

By Amanda Kavanagh

The seven emotional stages of watching Room to Improve
EDITORIAL
‘Romy & Michele’ actress Cortney Wolfston on being fired while pregnant

“I was confused. Hadn’t I just been told this was a perfect time to be pregnant?” she questioned. Actress Cortney...

By Sarah Finnan

The seven emotional stages of watching Room to Improve
EDITORIAL
5 houseplants we guarantee you can keep alive

For those who buy houseplants with the best of intentions and end up killing them, here’s a selection you’ll be...

By Hannah Hillyer

The seven emotional stages of watching Room to Improve
EDITORIAL
8 easy ways to keep your brain healthy that you can do right now

Your brain health is just as important as that of the rest of your body, says psychologist and neuroscientist Dr...

By IMAGE

The seven emotional stages of watching Room to Improve
EDITORIAL
This spatchcock chicken recipe will make your weekend

This is a great way to get a juicy roast chicken, bursting with flavour.     Bord Bia’s Spatchcock Chicken...

By Meg Walker