
From water cremation to natural burial grounds and death doulas, Lizzie Gore-Grimes is intrigued to learn about the many alternative options becoming available in Ireland when it comes to considered end-of-life planning.
“I’m not sure I could ever have foreseen that death would become my life,” begins Liza Clancy, a Dublin-based funeral celebrant and death doula. “I absolutely love what I do. For me, it’s an honour and privilege to work with people and support them through this, often difficult, but incredibly important time.”
It was the tragic death of her husband, at the age of just 52, during Covid, that inspired Liza to change her life. “When Kevin died, the funeral director asked me if I wanted a church funeral. I knew that was not what Kevin wanted, but I wasn’t really offered an alternative, so in the moment I said I would do it myself!” Liza then went on, through a baptism of fire, to learn everything needed to organise a cremation and celebration of life service.
During Kevin’s illness and death, I had to deal with so much on my own, and I realised that I could now do something to support others through a similar journey.
Needless to say, Liza’s 25 years as a professional PA came into play as she navigated the paperwork mind-melt and planning required. “It’s amazing how, when something like the death of a loved one happens, all the things you thought were so important go out the window and your priorities come into needle-sharp focus.”
The experience made Liza realise that she wanted to do something more meaningful. “During Kevin’s illness and death, I had to deal with so much on my own, and I realised that I could now do something to support others through a similar journey.”
Death Doula
Liza went on to become a qualified funeral civil celebrant (with the The Irish Institute of Celebrants) and also to study under Alex Derwen in Wales to become a death doula. “The word ‘doula’ in Greek means ‘female servant’, and is more commonly associated with birth attendants,” Liza explains. “And honestly, the role is not that dissimilar with death. I am there to advocate for the wishes of the person dying, to offer comfort, support, compassion and experience. I do not get involved in the medical side of things, but I can sit and take notes (I would have taken copious notes for Kevin) during medical appointments, help the person dying, and indeed the family, to understand all the options open to them, and, if needed, mediate between family members if relations are strained.”
Personally, as someone who had a birth doula for the birth of my three babies, I can vouch for how invaluable this kind of empathetic, compassionate and extremely knowledgeable support can be.
New normal
Cremation, once considered avant-garde in the Irish funereal offering, is now the most popular choice. In a recent Red C survey carried out on attitudes to death and funerals in Ireland, 47 per cent chose cremation, while 39 per cent expressed a wish for a traditional burial, and the remaining 4 per cent opted for donating their body to science or “other”.
“Cremation is now a very popular choice, as the cost of a traditional burial in Ireland has become prohibitive for many,” says Mickey Doyle, who founded his company Private Cremation in 2022, to offer a simple, dignified solution for people at a fraction of the fee. “The big cost is the funeral director’s fee, which is around €2,300. A headstone costs around €1,500, with a plot likely to cost €1,200. Another big expense is an interment, which costs around €1,100. So all in, it averages between €6,000-€7,000, often with a lot of hidden extras along the way.”
With zero “hidden extras”, Private Cremation has two very straightforward offerings: a direct cremation, priced at €1,950, or a bespoke cremation, priced at €2,250. With both, Mickey and his team will look after everything from transport to the crematorium right up to final hand-delivery of the urn to the family, and all the attendant paperwork in between. The bespoke offering is extra as it includes a chapel service in one of the seven crematoriums throughout Ireland.
“Financial worries can be a source of great stress for families arranging a funeral. We work to reduce these worries by offering an affordable and fully transparent service,” states Mickey, who also plants a dignity tree in memory of every person they organise a cremation for.
Green funerals
A lot of people are interested in a more sustainable option, and this is where Water Cremation, or Resomation, comes in. Elizabeth Oakes is the founder of Pure Reflections, Ireland’s first water cremation provider based in Navan, Co Meath. “The word ‘cremation’ here is perhaps a bit misleading as there is no flame involved whatsoever,” Elizabeth explains. “For this reason, Resomation is considered by many to be a gentler end-of-life option than the fire associated with traditional cremation.
We have been producing beautifully crafted, Irish-made, hand-woven willow coffins for over 15 years now.
“The body is placed in a vessel containing warm water and alkaline chemicals, and through the process of alkaline hydrolysis, is broken down in the very same way it would if interred in the earth, only instead of taking years, it occurs in a matter of hours.”
Resomation is a more sustainable option as it uses one-tenth of the energy compared to traditional cremation and emits no carbon emissions, while the fluid used in the process goes through a complex filtration system to ensure it is 100 per cent sterile before being released.
The cost of water cremation starts at €1,500, with an urn of ashes hand-delivered back to the family within four days, going up to €3,700 with a full celebration of life service for up to 120 people hosted in the Pure Reflections chapel, on site in Navan.
While, further north, up in Donegal, Colin McAteer, a third-generation local undertaker is also doing his bit to offer people a greener and more natural way to mark the end of life. “Through our company Green Coffins, we have been producing beautifully crafted, Irish-made, hand-woven willow coffins for over 15 years now.”
Colin is also the man behind the Woodbrook Natural Burial Ground, located in Co Wexford. “It started in 2010, with a phone call from a family friend (who owned the land in Wexford) looking to bury a family member on the site and asked for our help.”
People can choose to have a stone marker (usually one dug up from the plot they are resting in), or you can choose to plant a tree to mark the grave.
Having secured the appropriate planning permission and paperwork, Colin was able to assist the family with their request and then the idea was born to develop the seven-acre site into a natural burial ground open to all. “It was a very slow burner for the first few years,” continues Colin. “But it has since really taken off. We now have 600 souls resting here, and have a number of new sites around Ireland in development.”
People can choose to have a stone marker (usually one dug up from the plot they are resting in), or you can choose to plant a tree to mark the grave. “The grounds are beautifully planted with plenty of natural woodland, benches and birdsong,” continues Colin, “I’m always particularly moved to see how children interact with the place. The other day I was watching a young boy chasing a butterfly; I know he’s visiting his dad who’s buried here, but he’s able to be a kid and run around.”
Apart from memorial trees, there are so many wonderful, deeply personal ways to remember people. “I have seen families come up with such lovely ideas,” says Liza Clancy. “At one celebration of life service, the family of an avid reader, had displayed a collection of their books for people to pick one to take home as a memento.” And Liza suggests that while we have birth plans and wedding mood boards, there is still very little thought put into what happens after we die. “I would love to see people getting more actively involved in their own end-of-life plan. It can make things so much easier for those left behind if they have the added comfort of knowing they are carrying out your wishes, and can try and mark this incredibly important milestone with a feeling of resounding love rather than loss.”
READ & LISTEN
- The Way We Die Now by Seamus O’Mahony
- On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler Ross
- Sorry for your Trouble by Anne Marie Hourihane
- With the End in Mind by Kathryn Mannix
- Griefcast by Cariad Lloyd
- The Celebration Sessions by Conor Clear
- Family Flowers Only by Kathie Stritch
Imagery via Unsplash
This article originally appeared in the Autumn 2024 issue of IMAGE.
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