‘Even after loss, it is still possible to care for yourself, to feel beautiful in your own skin’

Last summer, after my mother died, I stopped recognising myself. Grief has a way of showing up physically, even when you think you are holding everything together. For me, it showed up in my hair. What had once been healthy and full became brittle, dry and constantly breaking. No treatment, mask or expensive shampoo seemed to make a difference. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw exhaustion staring back at me. I felt like a shell of myself.

Hair might seem superficial to some people, but when you are already struggling emotionally, losing confidence in your appearance can feel devastating. My hair had always been part of my identity, and watching it deteriorate over the months after my mother’s passing became another painful reminder of how much grief had changed me. I’d often joke that death took my mother, but it took my hair with it, too.

I wanted change. I wanted to feel like myself again, or at least closer to the person I used to be.

It was this intensity of feeling that eventually led me to SitStil on Drury Street. Owned by renowned hairdresser Mark Doherty, it is a unique oasis of calm, warmth and honesty defined by a client-centred ethos in the centre of the city.

From the moment I walked into the salon, the experience felt different. There was no pressure to rush into anything and no sales pitch disguised as a consultation. Instead, Laura sat down with me and genuinely listened. We spoke about the condition of my hair, the breakage and the emotional side of why I was there in the first place. What stood out first, was how much emphasis the salon placed on hair health. Extensions were not treated as a quick cosmetic fix; they were approached carefully and thoughtfully, with the condition of my natural hair at the centre of every decision.

We decided to use Strand’s extensions, which are known for their luxury quality and natural finish. Laura explained everything in detail, the maintenance, the blending process and how to make sure my natural hair remained protected underneath. I appreciated the honesty. There was never a promise that extensions would magically fix everything in my life, but there was an understanding that feeling good about yourself again can be part of healing.

Initially, we went quite long with the extensions. After months of feeling dull and invisible, something was exciting about seeing long, full hair again. For the first time in a long time, I looked in the mirror and felt something other than sadness. I felt feminine again. I felt polished. I felt like there was still a version of me underneath all the grief.

What surprised me most was how emotional the transformation felt. It was never really about vanity. I wanted to reclaim pieces of myself that grief had taken without question or remorse. When you lose someone close to you, especially a parent, everyday things can suddenly feel incredibly heavy. Even washing and styling my damaged hair had started to feel exhausting. Sitting in that chair and seeing the final result felt like lifting some of that weight, even temporarily.

After living with the longer extensions for a while, we decided to cut them slightly shorter. As beautiful as the extra length looked, I found the shorter style easier to manage day-to-day, especially while still navigating grief and the emotional exhaustion that comes with it. Again, Laura guided the process with honesty rather than ego. There was no insistence on keeping them long for the sake of appearance. The goal was always to create something that worked for my lifestyle and made me feel comfortable.