Honeymoon at Home

There are plenty of reasons to honeymoon at home. Maybe you’re holding off for another time of the year, when you can both go somewhere for longer; perhaps the coin purse is a little light or, most importantly, you want to discover the land of immense opportunity lying all around you. Yawning fur-and-black wearers Kim and Kanye complained they were bored here, but we’d be bored, too, if we spent our time watching telly or running from one tired-looking cinema to another. Squeeze every drop out of your hone-based?honeymoon with our natty guide, especially for Dubliners…

WORDS Orna Cunningham ILLUSTRATIONS Emma Block

The history of you?Feck Ryan Gosling’s oeuvre – love isn’t born of geese-filled ponds and unread letters, but of comfort in long glances and silences; snugs and snogs and bad jokes. If your big love popped into your life in P Mac’s dark corners, celebrate that. Dig out the dress you wore when he said ?I love you?; spend a dirty night in the first hotel room you shared; return to the dimmed cinema where every breath sounded heavy and take a guided tour of the private moments only you two know.

Duvet days?If you’re unconcerned about using the correct fork, but would much rather spend a day eating crisps, giggling and constructing a pillow-and-blanket fort in your sitting room (and in your pants), then bloody well do it. And forget any notions about wasting time or not being appropriately grandiose – this is your honeymoon, not your fussy mother-in-law’s. Get silly on a private playdate with sugary cocktails, funnies ready to go on Netflix and all the starters you never allow yourself from the local grease pit. And, of course, break out the (wink, wink) toys, kids.

Mi casa su hotel?A home is a haven but we rarely treat it that way. If you’re ditching the hotel room, turn your house into a cocoon – think crisp white towels and robes, candles and crystal stem. Use the bath, for once (for two). If anyone asks what you’d like as a wedding present, have the fanciest bedclothes you can find, bookmarked on The?Wedding Shop at brown Thomas. Forget cleaning anything yourself – splurge on someone to give the place a proper gutting before you arrive – and order room service via The Cake Caf?’s breakfast delivery.

Your favourite things?Treat your honeymoon as a Spotify playlist – one where you know the words to every song. Calories and coins be damned, if you love it, do it. If breakfast is your thing, do it twice, with the healthy stuff at home; then follow-up eggs Benny at Bibi’s. Do you and Mr or Mrs You love classic cinema? Buy out the popcorn stand and get cosy at Lighthouse Cinema. Make a list of your top hits – bargaining at the Dublin Flea, climbing Bray Head, dancing at the Twisted Pepper – if you love IKEA just for the meatballs, make the trip.

Bleedin? tourists?Living in a place means never seeing any of the sights and then telling barefaced lies to tourists about the hot spots. So do it! Check out the smiling hedgehog in the Natural History?Museum; actually go to the Gate after Chapter One’s pre-theatre menu and get oiled on one of the Jameson Distillery’s lauded tasting tours, before allowing for a little mind expansion at Trinity’s Science Gallery. Grab a three-day Dublin Bikes card and paddle a two-person kayak down the Liffey, before retiring to the roof of The Marker for long looks across a lit-up city.

DO IT ALL??P.Mac’s / The Cake Cafe / The Wedding Shop?/ Bibi’s?/ Lighthouse Cinema / Dublin Flea /?The Twisted Pepper / IKEA / Natural History?Museum?/ Gate Theatre / Chapter One / Jameson Distillery / Science Gallery / Dublin Bikes / The Marker