Lili Reinhart reveals an imposter has been posing as her in interviews

Jennifer McShane

Cambridge Terrace
This period home in Dun Laoghaire with an impressive garden is on the market for...

Lauren Heskin

A new cooking show, Joan Didion and a self-help podcast: What’s on tonight, Tuesday January...

Holly O'Neill

Call to immediately enact legislation for extended Parental Leave

Jennifer McShane

Meet the new style codes of 2021

Suzie Coen

COVID guidelines
Shebeens and house parties: Why has following COVID guidelines become so difficult?

IMAGE

New study reveals we are able to ‘catch’ moods from our friends

Amanda Cassidy

If lockdown has killed your libido, you are not alone

Lizzie Gore-Grimes

A beauty writer on the best expert skincare tips she’s ever heard

Melanie Morris

Netflix february 2021
6 Netflix picks we can’t wait for in February

Jennifer McShane

Esther O’Moore Donohoe: My world had now expanded to a 5k wide oyster, but where to go?


by IMAGE
08th May 2020

Esther O’Moore Donohoe describes herself as a Podcaster, Writer and Rhythm Dancer. This week she tries cleaning the oven, and a new route around her 5km


My oven is so loud that when it’s going full pelt, it wouldn’t surprise me if it detached itself from the wall and drove off down the road. But until it finally drives off to the big kitchen in the sky, it is staying put, no matter how loud it gets. That said, even noisy ovens need pampering from time to time though, so in a moment of madness, I decided to *gasp* clean it.

The main motivation for pretending I was Mrs Hinch for an hour, was the discovery that I had a foam oven cleaner deep in the back of the press. My excitement threshold is so low currently that I thought ‘Ooh. An expandable foam! I wonder if it really works? Will I really be able to just wipe all the mess away in one go?’

I absolutely need to get out more.

Cleaning an oven is the domestic equivalent of getting a root canal done. All that time and effort and no one even sees it.

It was, like most domestic chores, instantly regrettable. From the moment I began scrubbing away the charred remains of ancient cheeses, I wish I had never started. To carry me through, I summoned the strength of my heroine, Mary Poppins. It turned out she was right, once begun really is half done. Although, she could clean a room just by clicking her fingers so she doesn’t know the reality of attacking filthy metal grills covered in old Dr. Oetker pizza. Meanwhile, the magic foam was silently doing its thing.

Before I knew it, I was finished and my, my, my, it was utterly underwhelming. Cleaning an oven is the domestic equivalent of getting a root canal done. All that time and effort and no one even sees it. The only comfort I took was knowing that I was unlikely to ever do it again.

A 5k wide oyster

Because of all the gorgeous, 100%, non-eco-friendly chemicals in the foam, I had to leave the oven door open to air it for a bit. I took that as my cue to go for my daily constitutional. It was turning out to be quite the wild day for me.

My world had now expanded to a 5k wide oyster, but where to go? I stood at the end of my road and paused. I could go right, left or straight on. I ruled out straight on, straight away, owing to the group of Mad Lads gathered on their bikes at the nearest corner. Turning right meant following some of the route I normally take to work so I nixed it immediately. I wasn’t ready for any reminder of the real, real world quite yet. The only choice that remained, was to go left. This woman was ready to spread her wings ever so slightly, and in line with government guidelines to slow the spread of a highly infectious virus. I was off on a very gentle adventure.

On a cleaning high, or perhaps the chemicals had gotten to me, I decided to be brave and walk a route I’d never taken before. It was instantly gratifying. As I crossed the road to set out on my journey proper, I could hear a distant, gentle roar of ‘SEVEN AND TWO. SEVENTY TWO. TWO AND THREE, TWENTY THREE.’ Within a few hundred yards, I was walking by a real life outdoor bingo game in the flats. It was just like the ones I’d seen, and liked, on social media, only way, way, way, way, way, louder. I couldn’t believe my luck. Without even trying, I had ticked another experience off my lockdown checklist.

Times are uncomfortable and uncertain of course, but in those moments, my heart was warmed.

I twisted left again and found myself along the canal. Well, it was like seeing the world anew. Ducklings, swans, plastic bags. I was taken in by how much beauty there was all around. I was living, laughing, and loving this walk. To turn my jaunt even more golden, I accidentally bumped into a friend. I was giddy with delight.

Conscious that I had to return to the festival of fun that is my oven, I decided to head home. On my way back, I see the Mad Lads again doing wheelies. Bless their rule flouting youth. I then smell someone having a BBQ in their garden. In some windows, children had drawn encouraging signs to walkers. Others had put out a selection of their best teddies and toys to cheer strangers as they walk by. It was all so nice. Times are uncomfortable and uncertain of course, but in those moments, my heart was warmed. And as I turned onto the home stretch, I saw skies of blue, clouds of white, illegal dumping, to my left and right and I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

Esther O’Moore Donohoe is a writer and broadcaster. On her podcast The 80%, she interviews guests whose success she is 80% happy for.

Read more: ‘My foray into GIY has reminded me life carries on, regardless’

Also Read

UNCATEGORIZED
Want to be a stay-at-home mum? Then ignore societal pressures and be one

Colette Sexton, news correspondent at The Sunday Business Post, on...

By Colette Sexton

Black Friday
UNCATEGORIZED
This is what the IMAGE staffers will be buying this Black Friday

Black Friday is nearly here and we are asking five...

By IMAGE

oscar
UNCATEGORIZED
4 Potential Oscar Contenders To See This Autumn

We might be a bit early for the 2017 Oscars,...

By Holly O'Neill

Dominique McMullan
UNCATEGORIZED
‘I’m pregnant and suffering from pregnancy imposter syndrome’

Dominique McMullan is due her first child in April this...

By Dominique McMullan

paid per Instagram post
UNCATEGORIZED
Petfluencers? The dogs and cats earning up to $30K for one Instagram post

It might be time to get your dog or cat...

By Grace McGettigan

UNCATEGORIZED
What to Make Tonight: Harissa Chickpeas, Kale and Fried Egg

Harissa Chickpeas, Kale and Fried Egg Originally whipped up for...

By Meg Walker

W Collection Suite Whirlpool
UNCATEGORIZED
5 essential appliance elements you need to consider in your kitchen design

There’s nothing quite like cooking in a calm, clean kitchen....

By IMAGE Interiors

UNCATEGORIZED
5 Things You Can Do To Boost Your Morning Mood

Stretch Exercising first thing in the morning can be difficult...

By Niamh ODonoghue