So, you wake up a little late (your phone ran out of juice before the alarm went off) and you rush to the printer to get your boarding pass sorted. But the internet's sketchy and/or there's not enough ink in the cartridge so it just won't cooperate. That new Ryanair rule about printing the thing four hours before the flight (or paying €60) is making you sweat so profusely that you're probably shorting the fecking thing out. Or maybe it's the wind- anything more than 30mph seems to down the line.
It's hard to accept that high tech depends on something as low tech as what is essentially a piece of string. It's all way too reminiscent of kids playing telephone with two tin cans back when people put hangers on their TVs for better reception. And as for that bloody wheel- as if there are gears, or gerbil wheels, inside your computer whizzing around to move things along. If only.
Whatever, you can be sure that if you're in dire need of a device working, it won't. That CV you spent all night formatting? That massive report for the board meeting? That this-is-your-life video you made for the bride and groom?? Not gonna happen. You can do all the groundwork but when it comes to actually coming up with the goods, tech will almost always let you down (unless you are a geek in a hoodie who is unnaturally fond of Game of Thrones and Spartacus).
Here at Image Towers, we've spent the better part of today grappling with servers, providers and our own tempers in an effort to get the internet to work long enough to upload content and send a few emails. Tonight, someone somewhere along a very mysterious foodchain is going to check our reception mast (we thought those went out with Betamax, mini disks and eight tracks but apparently not). It's hard to believe they're actually going to climb up on a roof and fiddle but there you go. Personally, we think they're just playing for time because sometimes things just decide to heal themselves (think of all the times your computer/dishwasher has crashed and then come miraculously back to life with no help whatsoever.)
If the mast expedition doesn't work, we're going to struggle to keep our cool. It'll be extremely important not to show our fear and frustration. One thing's for sure- you've got to act like you don't care in front of your machinery or it turns even more spiteful.
Laura George is banging her head off the keyboard @lgeorge353