Niamh Ennis: 'Why don’t you believe that you deserve change?'

  • by IMAGE

Even those happiest with their lot will admit, from time to time, that they would like to change something in their lives, writes Niamh Ennis

Change is something we all think is appealing and quite doable. From afar. When we get a little closer to it our perspective seems to change.

The difference between change and transformation is simple. Change is changing what we do whereas transformation is changing who we are. One impacts the other. To my mind, there are two types of change - the change we choose for ourselves and the change that arrives at our door like an uninvited guest. Both have the ability to turn our lives upside down with completely different results.

Let’s look at the first type - The change we choose.


When we reach a point in which we are ready to introduce change into our lives, we often think making the decision means the worst part is done. Not true.

The process of change needs to be understood as being just that… a process. Whether the change you are looking to make involves your career, your finances, your health, or your relationships - the process remains the same.


You need to start by getting clarity on exactly what it is you want to achieve.

  • What’s your desired outcome? What do you want from this change?
  • Who is it you want to become when you change?
  • How will you feel when you achieve it?
  • Think of yourself there, having embraced change. Can you visualise her? What does she look like? Where is she? Who is she with? What is she doing? Fill that mental image with as much richness as possible. The more detail you can give it, the more real it becomes in your mind and the stronger the connection you will feel to it!

Step two is about clearing the way. To move forward, you need to remove whatever has been blocking you. You may have tried to change before, but never seemed able to get past a certain stage. The fears, the doubts, the limiting beliefs all turn up with one objective - to put us back in our box, to force us to retreat right back to our comfort zone, where everything feels familiar.


Yet by identifying just what these blocks are and putting our awareness on them we are reducing the power they have over us. Be aware that sometimes the biggest thing getting in your way towards making a change is very often be YOU. When you begin to recognise just what the fears and limiting beliefs blocking you are, you’ll see this much more clearly, so be prepared.


We can all change things in our life that will give us temporary solutions but what we are looking to create is change that lasts. Please don’t overthink change. When we do, we fall down the rabbit hole of focusing on all the reasons we can’t change rather than focusing on just what will happen when we do. What we focus on expands so overthinking will just overcomplicate the process.

So how can we build our confidence to enable us to change? When we start to reconnect with ourselves, we start to slow down, to create space, to soften. It’s only then that we can really listen to what it is that we want and need. When we are doing things for everyone else, we are not tending to our own strengths and sense of confidence. This comes when we start to focus on ourselves. This is when having a daily practice is of enormous benefit. Consider introducing your own daily practice such as journaling, meditation, visualisation – whatever resonates most with you.


The final part in the process of change is believing that you can change, that you deserve it.

Consider these questions:

  • What is the relationship you have to yourself?
  • Can you say that you trust yourself and your ability to change?
  • Have you disconnected from yourself?
  • Do you truly believe you deserve change?
  • Do you have faith in yourself?
  • Do you make and break promises to yourself?
  • How do you show up for yourself each day?
  • Are you guilty of judging yourself?

When we don’t believe that we deserve change it can delay us building on our own self-belief. Why don’t you believe that you deserve change? What is it in you that makes you think change is for other people and not you? Is it based on fact or truth?

So how do you know you are ready for change? Well, the one indicator is that you know something in your life just doesn’t feel right.

You have an inkling that there has to be a better way of working, living, loving and of taking care of yourself, but there’s a little voice inside you telling you to try something different to do something different, it’s a whisper but it’s a nagging one!

If you’ve started to think about something you want to change but need help knowing just where to start Niamh Ennis' ‘I CHOOSE CHANGE’ 6-week group Coaching Programme may be for you. To discover more visit her site. Niamh is offering a special rate for IMAGE readers of just €447 (RRP €497) with payment plans available. It’s your time.

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