Following Chrissy Teigen and John Legend's painful loss of their son, Jack, Meghan Markle is now speaking about her own experience of miscarriage.
Meghan Markle has penned a heartfelt essay for the New York Times detailing the importance and power of one simple phrase – “are you okay?”
The Duchess of Sussex remembers being asked it by a journalist in the summer of 2019 at the end of a gruelling tour of South Africa. She was so touched by the question, she gave a frank answer that made headlines around the world.
She feels, now more than ever, the importance of checking in on people, asking how they’re doing, especially as our lives get narrower and more isolated. Truth and facts have become hazy and polarised and, “coupled with the social isolation required to fight this pandemic, [it] has left us feeling more alone than ever.” We are all going through difficult moments, that can feel insurmountable to tackle alone.
The Duchess reflects on how difficult the last few months have been for her and her family since experiencing a miscarriage this past summer. Picking up her son Archie, she recalls “After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp… I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second.”
Despite pregnancy loss being sadly very common, it’s not something we talk about very openly. About 15% of women will experience pregnancy loss in their lifetime, yet Chrissy Teigen’s recent documentation of her own experience has been met with some criticism – that it is too personal, too uncomfortable and should be kept private. “I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos,” she wrote recently. “ I lived it, I chose to do it… These photos only for the people who need them.”
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This shame is something that the Duchess of Sussex has met too. “Losing a child means carrying an almost unbearable grief, experienced by many but talked about by few.”
The feeling of taboo around the subject likely played a part in her decision to share her own pregnancy loss so publicly, considering she and her husband have understandably guarded their family life closely since moving to the US.
She closes the piece with a plea to ask one another one simple question – are you okay? “In being invited to share our pain, together we take the first steps toward healing.”
You can read the full New York Times piece here
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