It's almost time for Consumer-Driven And Cliche-Interpretation-Of-Love Day!
Valentine's Day and love go together like a night out on New Year's Eve and fun, but I'm on board for any day that you get to eat chocolate. I'm here for Christmas advent calendars all year round, and I don't need a consumerism festival as an excuse to buy a box of Lindor, because I buy them for myself on the regular.
However, like Christmas, Valentine's Day is just another spot in the calendar where the sentiment behind the celebration has been bastardized for commercial gain. Yet you must take part in the festival of consumerism, so here are some alternative valentine cards to buy your significant other in an anti-establishment way, or if you are a hilarious person.
Maybe this card will make them take the hint and SHARE.
That's how you know it's real love.
If we're being realistic, you don't have my whole heart.
For those in denial.
In a world of app-centric dating, does it get more romantic than a card that says I Still Like You When I'm Not Drunk?
For the romantics.
For the millenials.
For the long termers.
They'll like you more for getting this card than they would the actual sweethearts.
"Yeah, yeah, I know you hate Girls."
For the sapiosexuals.
As opposed to all my other husbands.
Can't forget about the single pringles!
As if you and the gals needed one more excuse to bust out the Beyoncé dance moves...
Enjoy the half price chocolate everyone!