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Image / Editorial

What Would Sex with Sherlock Be Like?

by Jeanne Sutton
02nd Nov 2014

benedict cumberbatch wearing feminist t shirt

By the end of this you will be blushing?

Benedict Cumberbatch is on quite the press tour these days as his latest movie, The Imitation Game hits cinemas. First he couldn’t pronounce ?penguin? on Graham Norton.

Then he walked ?like? Beyonc? in that same studio.

However, we think his interview with Elle UK, in which he speculates on what Sherlock would be like in bed, might send Cumberbitches the world over into coronary thrombosis.

The interviewer speculated upon Sherlock’s bedroom skills and Benedict jumps to the slightly sociopathic detective’s defence with the type of descriptions that belong in mild erotica. Speaking as Sherlock, we think, he says, ?I would probably take a lot of vitamin supplements to make sure that I could perform, and had had my sleep, and probably not had many cigarettes. Or drink, for that matter. Not that he does drink.? Vitamin supplements.


Elle calls this “Proficient, but lacking enthusiasm.? But Benny bites back with, ?Yeah, no wait for it. I would probably watch a lot of porn… And then I would be?devastating. I’d know?exactly how to please a woman, I’d know exactly where to put my fingers, where to put my tongue, where to put my – his I should say – his fingers, his tongue. Think about violinists, think about what they can do with their fingers.?And I’d know exactly how to get that person into it, and get pleasure out of making that person feel pleasure to the point that I probably wouldn’t even have to enter??

Oh my. Between this and his endorsement of feminism in the same magazine – see above for the actor wearing the Whistles and Fawcett Society, a?women’s rights organisation, colloboration – we think we might take a cold shower now.

Follow Jeanne Sutton on Twitter @jeannedesutun