Because nothing says Christmas like two women fighting over a Nutribullet.
Brace yourself. The worst of Christmas approaches.
Is Christmas now about the worship of Christ or the worship of products? In the Christmas of today, Black Friday is a pilgrimage of capitalism in a festival of consumerism, removing the Christ from Christmas altogether.
Do we have Black Friday Mania here? I don't know that we do. You've seen the videos from the states of course, like something narrated by David Attenborough - beasts savaging at a carcass, humans ravaging each other, a battle to the death where at the end, the winner gets 20% off a flat screen 4K TV.
At what cost do we get these bargains? What if the cost of that bargain is your very soul, human kindness and freedom? We know that for the price we pay for glittering, HD trinkets of consumerism, real people in the world are suffering.
In the run-up to Christmas I suppose what you should be thinking about is food and squeezing your loved ones to death, wearing your new pyjamas for all of St. Stephen's Day, and giving and love and blah but here we are. I mean, I don't know you (well I might - hi Mom) but I have things that I have had my eye on and I'm probably going to log onto River Island myself to pick up a slight discount on these slip-on loafers I've been planning outfits around in my head for weeks - the most affordable solution I've found to compare to the incomparable Gucci's - no, I don't care that you hate them. Really though it's November, am I ridiculous if I wear backless loafers? Yes, I am but think of the outfits.
We are probably better off avoiding queues and pushing and shoving and just shopping from our laptops at home. However, if you do decide to go to the shops, leave the people who work in retail alone. They just don't care and they hate you too. Listen to them patiently when they tell you that if you buy two items you get the third item free because it is their job to tell you that. Do you think it was their dream to tell you that? Do not pull your size from the bottom of the pile, just ask them for a size goddammit, don't you know they have folded those jumpers three hundred times already today? If you rudely ask for a size, of course they are going to say they will "check in the back" but really they are just going to the stock room to have a chat or sit down for five minutes or put the kettle on and then come back and say, "sorry we don't have your size." Wouldn't you?
If you are rude to retail staff or customer service staff or bar staff or restaurant staff, you are everything wrong with the world. Just be nice - as a general life rule.
Anywho, here's the best beauty deals you can find for Black Friday. Be nice to people, exercise tolerance and compassion in your life, have a lovely Christmas and remember when you are in a sales frenzy that discounted ugly shoes are still ugly shoes. Not my loafers though, obviously.
Spotlight Whitening Teeth White Pen, €14.99
Get 25% off everything from Spotlight Whitening (including the new Teeth White Pen, €14.99 and the new Men's Teeth White Strips, if you're stuck for a present for your dad, uncle, imaginary boyfriend etc, €39.95) and a free toothpaste with every order over €50. spotlightwhitening.com
The new ghd contour, available in the sale at ghdhair.com for €74, saving €25
Until Monday 27th November, get €20 off selected products from the ghd electricals range on ghdhair.com.
MAC Skincare Essentials Kit, €33
There are currently 286 beauty deals available online from Brown Thomas, including 3 for 2 on selected Benefit products, the Yves Saint Laurent Luxurious Mascara Glamour Christmas Coffret for €29.25 (including the YSL Luxurious Mascara and a mini Rouge Pur Couture N°1) and the MAC Skincare Essentials Kit, €33, worth €51.50. brownthomas.com.
Real Techniques Filtered Face Set, was €100, now €49.
There are hundreds of Black Friday deals from Boots, available right now. The best deals include Yves Saint Laurent Black Opium Limited Edition Eau de Parfum Spray, €56, was €84, but you simply must buy the Real Techniques Filtered Face Set (and save €51!) was €100, now €49, before it sells out. Check out all the Black Friday deals from Boots at boots.ie/black-friday.
From Friday 24th until Monday 27th November, exclusively on ELEMIS.COM, buy one get one half price on all full-size skincare products! Whichever your favourites, buy any two-full-size skincare or men’s skincare products and enjoy half off the cheapest one.
DAFNI Classic Heated Hairbrush, €124, usually €149, at Peter Mark
Black Friday savings at Peter Mark include €25 off some of the most eagerly anticipated styling tools this Christmas including selected ghd stylers (like the classic ghd IV Styler, was €129, now €104) and DAFNI heated hairbrushes.
CLINIQUE Merry & Bright Gift Set, €35, was €70
Arnotts are having a Christmas Mega Event - with 10% off beauty gifts from all of your favourite brands. Don't miss the half price CLINIQUE Merry & Bright Gift Set, €35. The perfect gift for your mother or mother in law.