Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg is a woman who is in our corner. Sandberg taught us all to Lean In; to be united as women and celebrate each other’s accomplishments, rather than compete with one another. She also urged us to stand up and fight for the respect, positions, and salaries we deserve and see ourselves as true assets within companies. Following the tragic death of her husband, Dave Goldberg, the Facebook COO’s go-to slogan took a different meaning; she realised it was much more than a solo endeavour. Instead, it’s a group one — that you’re only really able to lean in because of the women who surround and support you. She’s written a new book detailing how to cope with grief and while promoting it, also revealed some words of wisdom for women who are in the dating game.
She’s not delved into this area before but has since opened up on the topic when she started to date again herself. Her advice is simple; if you’re going to lean in to your careers, you should take the same attitude when it comes to relationships. When asked her opinion of what women should be looking for in a match, she told Hannah Kuchler at the Financial Times; we should aspire to date “the guys who want an equal relationship. Guys who want to support your career.”
And how is one able to tell if her date is one of these “good guys”? How can she know, in a relationship’s early days, whether a prospective partner will take her and her career seriously? Sandberg’s advice was simple: ask them.
“You ask and you ask, early, and you are not afraid of offending,” says Sandberg. “If they’re going to be offended… you don’t want to date them anyway.”
While it might seem like a heavy-handed question so early on, Sandberg is onto something. What if it just so happens your career is full on, and you need to devote equal time to it and the relationship? It might not thrill a prospective partner if they can’t be front and centre so at least knowing early on could save many hurt feelings.
The businesswoman’s words are poignant given that she’s learning to adjust to the new life she’s leading – “option B” as she calls it (and her new book) – now her husband is dead.“I want Dave,” she cried to a friend, who responded: “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the s**t out of Option B.” Solid advice to follow in life and when looking for love.