Okay class take your seats; today we’re going to talk about what we would like to be when we grow up!
An online influencer!
The children are shouting and universities are listening. Yes, just when you thought the world has reached peak levels of nonsense, there is now a degree programme available for people who want to set themselves up for viral fame and being an online influencer (I crawled inside myself with mortification just typing that, FYI).
In case you thought you’ve fallen into some kind of parallel multiverse, you haven’t.
Yiwu Industrial & Commercial College in China has started offering ‘modelling and etiquette’ classes that “equip students with the skills to make it in the public eye”. According to Mashable, the course will also teach you how to dress fashionably, apply makeup, display merchandise- for those perfect Instagrammable layouts, visual marketing, how to perfectly pose for pictures, and even basic legal and economic knowledge.
It sounds frivolous – we know – but when you consider that the average online influencer earns up to €10k for an Instagram post (!!!!!) it sounds like a pretty attractive and promising career path to pursue, don’t you think? And in a country like China where there are over 700 million mobile users, you have to do everything you can to set yourself apart from the sea of other wanna-be influencers.
In a world of influencers, be the qualified influencer.
If you’re not ready to follow your influencing dreams to China don’t worry, because now you can also enroll in Amazon’s social media influencer program that they oh-so-quietly launched in March this year. The only downside is that you already need a whopper following to be accepted.
But maybe we have to be a bit more open-minded about it all? Maybe our grandmothers and great grandmothers laughed at the idea of working as a typist? Heck, even online journalism was a pipe dream not too long ago.
Still though, what a stupid time to be alive.